It is okay I guess to have some pain, I can manage because of the time I had it but during these past months I can still walk but recently I ought to use the wheelchair to get to the bathroom from my room and vise versa. Now I can't seem to lift my feet because of my aching hip joint and especially my feet joints and it is hard to step on them and walk.
I don't know what agony that I will be subjected to if I am not taking my medicine but taking my medicine for my hyperparathyroid gives its own share of misery to me by giving me a nausea and this nasty sensation in my mouth. Now I feel that my condition had worsened still despite my efforts to alleviate my dire situation from what ails me and the people around me are not cooperating are even contributing to my demise.
Yes if I were not religious I could had been killed myself a long time ago but I actually accidentally poisoned myself with some barbiturates because of my search to cure my insomnia. Too good, or maybe bad that we already had a car we could use right away and my parents were able to rush me to the hospital and I was revived after dialysis cleaned my blood away from the cause of my accidental overdose.
I won't kill myself, I just want God himself to take away my life but I am just afraid, upset, worried, frustrated, and angry about my condition because most of the things around me doesn't favor what I want and it is not good to live this life like that you feel you are imprisoned and continuously battered with physical punishment.
Gif Source: Fb Gifs