About two months from now I would be tested again for my Phosphorus, Calcium, etc. and if I will discover that my condition will not improve I might search for a doctor that could help me in this seemingly hardest task in my half-human existence. I now feel like I am just a lit candle that in time will be no longer and if I wait much that I could bear then it is probable that I will just destroy myself in the process of my patience.
It is now just madness to hold on to this situation and I feel that my body really had turned itself out against me and that I am just so hard-headed not to let go. This fight had came into a higher level and what is left was just me against myself and all other people, my family, and even my doctors I had sensed that it was already useless to continue to fight and I must let go and accept defeat.
It is quite hard to fight really if you see others backing out from you and my hope now really is my determination if I would not lose my will to continue to normalize my life if it was still possible. So I am continuing to blog so that I could save some finances because money could talk and make things real, even the things that seem are just a distant dream before will be a touchable or tangible thing for me if I will have something that I could use to save myself from all that gives me all these unfathomable life adversaries that no one had ever even had a nightmare of.
Since I had experienced a miracle before I would presume that there is still hope that is in stored for me. Prayers work and I know that somebody out there somewhere is fervently praying for me or at least including me in their prayers. SO I am happy about that and also, the people here at steemit that are unbelievably supportive inspite of I could never repay in any way except to just pray for them to get repaid by God himself then all will get their justice for what is for them in due time.