The year 80's was full of joy and hopes for me, it was the years that I was still enjoying movies that are shown on television because we don't own a betamax player. Those were the days that I still enjoy cartoons and there were no PIXAR animations then, just Disney and Hannah-Barbera produced cartoons that tickles my imagination because of my naive mind as I was easily moved and taken away by movies, cartoons and my hopes that the future is also bright for me.
Well little that I know that I will soon realize that movies and cartoons are just made to entertain, make money with, and show people things that are impossible can be made into a possibility only in our eyes and ears. So you will eventually say "Oh I already know how it's done" so with that you are not fooled anymore by what you will see in movies as you already know that the character really didn't get hurt or die or that event or scene was just done by computer application. So the movie magic for me is gone thanks to my mature mind that I wished today didn't grew up with me.
A little years later my life changed as my medical condition just had put a leash on me on everything that I would do in my life. At school I couldn't excel because I am already sick, my blood circulation just got affected especially for my brain that quite affected my ability to just be a good student grade-wise. So I couldn't get high grades and at college I abruptly just stopped going to school because my grades are already affected because I couldn't concentrate literally on my studies.
My body also deteriorated as years go by as I struggle to gain weight and later my height went south then currently it all just went bust as I suffered one of the rarest form of bone disease plus the collapsing of my backbone which makes me unable to breath normally not to mention the pain it caused me in a number of years and to top it all was the changing of my appearance that although I do not want to think about just saddens me because people treat me horribly in a annoying manner, they all seems to be like each other most of the time, like an impolite child that is as curious as a cat.
The changes in my mouth also gives me a burden as it feels like what it looks like. I am always having a bad breath because I cannot close my mouth properly and I cannot brush my teeth because it bleeds. It is hard to eat and chewing was a struggle as I have to be horizontal so that the foods that I chew would not fall out from my mouth.
I couldn't even converse or chat normally with my gums raised and people are just struggling to understand every word that I say. So what really is my life? It is a life full of frustrations, hardships, and misery. So I am just elated that somehow there is my friends here at steemit that supports me and the fact that I can get help is a reason enough for giving thanks but it doesn't mean that I am not hard-up and struggling. I am but the only difference is that I have not much pain and I am having a hard time breathing.
Looking back into where I had been and where I am now currently physically makes me lonely and it is a sad fact that I do have the most unimaginable health conditions that a person can get and live with until me eventual demise. One of the things that keeps me going was my friends here at steemit as they fight alongside me, I also can't let them down. But my body really is enduring the times and I don't really know when it would capitulate so I am just holding and keeping my goal of self-improvement physically and medically because it is the right thing to do right now. A tough and lonely battle against all odds in my dear life.