What a whirlwind my first week on Steemit has been.
I went from not knowing what it was, to making my first post and making nearly $15,000, to making a few more posts which made another $15,000.
I posted yesterday and within 2 hours I had 500+ upvotes and it had made over $2,000. I was well on my way to becoming a steemillionaire!
I asked my assistant to dial up the local yacht dealership to purchase a new yacht, when... all of a sudden it had only made $1,000.
I motioned to my assistant to tell them I'd call them back.
"Why?" she asked.
"I seem to be losing Steem," I said as I squinted at my 65" monitor.
"What's Steem?" she asked.
"Don't ask questions, worker! I own you!" I snapped back.
The rest of the night I pondered on what was going on. I also began to realize why anarcho-communists hate us capitalists so much.
But, then, I woke up the next morning and WHAM!
My last post was down to $122.04! I checked the upvotes and I had 762 upvotes.
My mind raced.
"I've been robbed," I screamed at my assistant, nearly knocking over my Grey Goose dirty martini.
She didn't respond, she knows better.
"120 dollars?" I shrieked, "That'll barely pay a day's wage for my chef, driver, gardener, maid and bodyguard!"
Someone forwarded me this article, "Berwicks Last Stand".
I quickly read through it as my whole Steem world was falling apart.
He posted this screenshot:
My jaw dropped. Bernie Sanders! Of all the people, I should've known!
Apparently, 
And, like the communist he is, he quickly absconded with my hard earned Steem and shared the wealth with others!
Now, impoverished by communism, I am wondering where my next 7 course meal will come from!
And, I'm left wondering, if we can't have a blockchain based social network free of the right of private individuals like Bernie Sanders to make personal decisions about who receives Steem then what do we have left?
What, I ask you!
I will continue on here at Steem, answering the question, "Would Jeff Berwick post here if he wasn't making millions of dollars?"
The answer, for now, is yes. I still believe in this thing goddammit.
My workers, of course, will have to take a pay cut though, of course. Caviar isn't cheap.
I just hope that Bernie Sanders can now see how his communist wealth sharing policies really hurts the little man, and woman.
"Maria? Tell my child labor slaves to make up a new batch of silk tissues, I feel a tear coming on."
Just kidding, I am a narcissistic capitalist. I don't cry.
[*Edit: Unbelievably, a few people thought this post was serious (Like this guy! https://steemit.com/steemit/@kdugar/why-dollar-vigilante-is-an-a-shole-and-needs-to-be-taught-how-to-respect-people)! It was sarcasm and creative writing.