Things I like as much as dealing with Australian internet providers

Things I like as much as dealing with Australian internet providers-

1. Performing a self vasectomy with a spoon. Inside of a tornado whilst listening to Oprah Winfrey recite the name of everyone she’s given a car too.

2. Dragging my scrotum across a meat ant nest, and the meat ants have rabies.

3. Eating live ferrets wielding razor blades.

4. Watching Kanye West draw a portrait of Nicholas Cage drawing a portrait of Fran Drescher.

5. The idea of super glueing ear phones in and playing 2 Nikki Minaj songs.

6. Getting jumped by a gang of badgers. The badgers also have explosive diarrhoea and a blood lust that makes Viking beserkers look like fucking choir boys.

7. Listening to a millennial pitching a pyramid scheme whilst ordering a coffee from a hipster.

8. Eating a cake made of cobras.

9. People who say that Darwin’s Theory of Evolution “is just a theory”

10. Angry white middle class male feminists with a yeast infection that also believes the world is flat and dinosaurs didn’t exist.