Coping with Depression Overwhelm:
Understanding and Coping with One of the Most Common Symptoms of Depression and Anxiety
When the anguish of depression overwhelm hits, I wish I had a magical wand to banish away the negative thoughts, and amplify the good ones. But depression overwhelm is not something you can just magic away. I know how it feels to breathe into my brave in a moment of complete overwhelm. That's why I write, in the hope it will help us move through the overwhelm together.
One of the hardest aspects of living with depression and/or anxiety is the sense of complete overwhelm that can take hold within the mind and body.
Depression it is not a mood state, or something you can remedy with positive thinking, it is a medical condition that has the potential to push you to the edge of life. The utter despair and overwhelm of depression triggers the fight-or-flight response, which depletes physical, mental and emotional energy. The brain becomes overwhelmed with stress, causing it to shut down in certain areas. This coping mechanism a natural response, it's not something you can control or think your way out of. Mentally the instinct is to try and by-pass the stress and pain as neuro-transmitters flood the brain and nervous system. While you cannot control this survival instinct, you can use it as a reminder to practice slowing down.
It sounds counter-intuitive but the best thing to do when overwhelm hits is to stop, place your hand on your heart and slow down your breathing
In our culture of quick fixes and air-brushed perfection, we are encouraged to suppress, ignore or deny our pain; and while these avoidance strategies may distract us in the short term, they end up compounding our suffering.
When you are actually able to slow down and regulate your breathing, you directly experience the aliveness, power and inspiration of your true self. It feels so good to simply STOP all the mental activity around trying to fix what we think is wrong with us.
There is nothing wrong with you brave friend; while you may have depression and/or anxiety, it doesn't define who you truly are. The truth is, beneath the stories and assumptions of who you think you are, or should be, you are immeasurably pure, unbreakable and boundless.
We are kinfolk, experiencing together, all that it is to be human. You are not alone, together we can get through this.
Together we can begin to experience what it feels like to notice the stress response, and use it to create a whole new experience. We can meet the overwhelm with compassion, not with the intent to heal or fix it, but as a signal to beam love to the places that are hurting. The invocation is to stop and smile into the aliveness that is always here. That exuberance may be covered over by the gloom of depression, but it is still alive within you. At first it may seem like a tiny spark of aliveness, but you can trust it.
Breathe into the Aliveness that is here now, glinting in the overwhelm
Place your hands on your heart and breathe. Feel as though you are breathing in ... and breathing out, from your heart. This simple action starts the release of oxytocin (the bonding hormone). Feel the love in your heart expanding as you wrap your arms around yourself and ask: What is the most loving action I can demonstrate towards myself right now?
It may be that you need to take some time to rest. Or perhaps your body feels like it needs to move and shift the energy with some gentle exercise, such as a walk in Nature. When your thoughts won't let up, it can be helpful to distract yourself with a mentally engaging mind puzzle, or less taxing activities such coloring pages or journalling.
The thing to remember is while your mind may have been pushed into a highly-charged, reactive state, you are stronger than you think you are. Even though the impulse is to try and banish the intense overwhelm, the truth is there are many things in life we cannot control. Despite all the cultural messaging around creating the perfect life, we really have very little control over what happens to us.
The most common and frustrating thing people say in response to my depression is to try and think more positive. They assume depression is all in the mind, which is a very dangerous way to view a potentially life-threatening illness. In any given situation, fortifying the mind with positive thoughts may distract us momentarily, but it's really not that simple. Life often unfolds in ways that are way beyond our capacity to understand or control.
The bravest treasure in the experience of overwhelm is meeting it. When we are able to meet the intensity with the understanding, even if just for a micro-second, we stop reinforcing and denying our pain.
Buddha said “the end of meeting is parting”, which reminds us that in meeting what is happening, we create space for a deeper experience of acceptance and release.
When overwhelm comes, use it as an opportunity to meet the unpleasantness with compassion. The overwhelm is inviting you to stop trying to fix what is happening. It takes great courage to accept what is actually happening, but when you can find the strength to do so, you are loving into all the hurt places.
Thank you for reading brave friend. Breathe and surrender into the aliveness that has always been with you. I believe in you.
Together we can face mental illness.