Who else wants to be a steamillionaire? (satire)

I mean, who doesn't want to? Steem is the new social media that will pay for content and curation in real money, right?

So everyone joining steem, is motivated by money, to one degree or another. Everyone sees the one-post quick cash success stories everywhere.

And I will, in this post, tell you exactly how anyone can become a steemillionaire!

And I will give you not just one, but two different methods you can choose from.

But before we go any further, "why should you take my advice seriously"? I can hear you asking...

Because:

1. I became a member 5 days ago. (so that you know I'm an experienced steemit user)
2. My first introduction post made me $0.20 in the 12 hours after I posted it (so that you know I made real cash, and I'm not full of bs)

Ok, without further ado, I'll tell you exactly how anyone can be a steamillionaire!

Method 1: Buy $1,000,000 worth of steem.

Simple, really. Since a steemillionaire is someone with $1,000,000 worth of steem, just buy $1,000,000 worth of steem, and you are an overnight steemillionaire. Once you power up, you'll instantly gain whale status, and you'll be the king of the hill, and you'll be bossing around everyone else!

Method 2: Make 5,000,000 posts

This method is for those who don't have a million dollars lying around unused... See, I didn't forget you.

Since anyone can make $0.20 per post -as I did-, it will only take you about 5,000,000 posts to make a million dollar of steem. At 1000 posts per day, you only need to spend 5000 days or 13.7 years to achieve this goal.

But you don't want to do all that work? How lazy of you.

Don't worry, I'm working on "the ultimate steem millionaire posting bot" for you. This bot will:

• Hire a fake actor to hold a sign for you and take a picture or make a video for you from fiverr,
• Automatically generate some kind of plausible looking personal details from fakenamegenerator
• Merge those details with some random travel pics found online about your city in that fake profile
• Make your first introduction post with all that info (this alone can make you more than the full cost of the bot) see:
  https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@moonflower/a-new-life-in-maui

Then make any number of posts on any topic you like automatically by:

• Grabbing from 396,000+ plr articles about all the topics and then spinning them for uniqueness
• Getting some (3-5) random good looking image from image search, auto-upload them to steemimg.org, and embed them to the post
• Submit them at US daytime hours when whales are around most.

Can you see the potential? Right now, the bot is in the idea stage. When it is released, I'm planning to sell it for only $1997 worth of steem dollars.

But as a new adopter of this early technology, I'll only charge you $197 worth of steem dollars.

Isn't this a bargain? You can literally make 10 times of your money back even in your first post...

(end sarcasm)

Or, you could just forget about any monetary reward, and just post and comment and upvote, as you would in any other social media platform. Just be yourself, have fun, and relax.

Money isn't everything, and steemit is still very worthwhile as a social platform, even if it didn't pay anyone any money.

If it does make you some money, it is a nice bonus. But posting and reading useful and quality content, engaging in stimulating conversations, making new contacts and friends is valuable in itself. :D