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Time Optimism
What is it, and why is it such a problem?
Hello world of SteemIt! Little did you know, there is an epidemic that has already effected or will soon effect a vast majority of people in the US and abroad. ** I refer to the condition of “time optimism” as so cleverly coined by my brother. Some readers may be familiar with this irritating condition and those that recognize its symptoms, are all too familiar with its repercussions.
Time optimism is simply defined as:
The tendency to consistently believe that things will take less time than they do in reality, in spite of a beleaguring amount of evidence otherwise.
To elaborate, someone diagnosed with time-optimism, not only will a time optimist consistently will not only underestimate timing (making those suffering from Time Optimism (T-O) consistently late), but the will also result in a combination of lies (often believed by the diagnosed) to help explain their routine lack of punctuality. Perhaps one of the most frustrating character traits of the TO is the typical reaction of said optimist upon being called out for
- being late, and
- inconveniencing those whom the optimist was late to meet.
The typical response of the time-optimst at this juncture, is to attempt to flip the situation 180 degrees by accusing those involved of having a combination of negative traits. For instance, should a time-optimist arrive 15 minutes late to a meeting and be confronted for being late, whomever brings this charge against the optimist will probably be called “uptight,” or be prescriped a “chill pill" and with a diagnosed need to relax.
However, Time optimism is not to be confused with a single timing underestimation, or a delay due to extenuating circumstances (e.g. traffic). It is not a far stretch, however, to move from being guilty of a single instance of time-optimism to becoming a pathological time optimist.
To paint the picture of a classic Time Optimist communication, I’ll provide some sample dialogue (below). In this situation, the TO lives about a 5 minute drive from my residence and my residence is about 30 minutes from where we are going.
6:30 pm:
Me: “So we need to be there by 8:00 pm, when can you be ready?”
Time Optimist (TO): “I can be ready in 10 minutes, but why don’t I just meet you at your place for a drink at 7:00 and we can leave by 7:30?”
Me: “Sounds good. Call me when you’re on your way.”
7:10 pm:
Me: “Hey dude, where are you?”
TO: “I’m in the car right now – I should be there in 2 minutes”
(Actually, TO is still in his apartment as he just finished getting ready).
7:20 pm
TO: “Hey where do I park – I can’t find a place?”
(Just walking to his car and about beginning his 5 minute drive)
Me: “Umm, just park where you always park, right downstairs.”
TO: “Oh – all right, I thought you wanted me to park in the garage”
Me: “What?, No I don’t care, just hurry up, we are leaving at 7:30”
7:30 pm
TO arrives, parks, and walks up to apartment
7:33 pm
TO Knocks
Me: “Dude, where have you been, we’re going to be late”
TO: “Relax man, don’t be so uptight. We have plenty of time. Lets have a drink”
Me: “Seriously?”
So to dissect this little conversation... The problem begins when the TO dismisses the time it takes to him to get ready as 10 minutes. The reality is that while this could plausibly take 10 minutes in some circumstances, but one must be honest with oneself. This brings us to the 1st Law of Time Optimism:
1st Law of Time-Optimism
A Time-Optimist will routinely assume and predict they can be ready in the time equivalent to the fastest they have ever gotten ready.
** As most unafflicted humans understand, this is not typically an accurate prediction, and from moment one, this initial assumption, the T-O is already late.** Not surprisingly, this situation could be remedied if instead of convincing themselves that they were able to meet the predicted timeframe, the optimist simply admitted they underestimated, relayed that to whomever they may be making plans with. This will not usually occur when dealing with a time optimist.
Next, the optimist will move into a lie to relay, not where he or she is, or the actual, relevant timeline, but instead where they assumed they would be at this stage, i.e. where they wish they were. This is a symptom all too common among time optimists, and one of the leading indicators that those of us familiar with time optimists should pick up on. And so, we have the 2nd law of Time-Optimism.
2nd Law of Time-Optimism
A Time-Optimist, when relaying information about their status, will relay information based on their already incorrect assumptions, believing they will make up any lost time somewhere between that moment, and their arrival.
** In other words, Time-Optimists lie. This is a strange symptom, if for no other reason, this is one lie, in which they are doomed to be caught.** Those of us not suffering from T-O, can use this law to help us manage our time-optimistic friends and acquantainces. For instance, if one of my time-optimistic friends were to tell me they were in the car; I would most likely assume, they were just leaving the apartment. Learning these indicators is necessary, if one is going to be competent in dealing with time optimists.
When the clock approaches 7:20; the time optimist takes a very clever, yet deceitful path at promoting his timeliness. In the previous dialogue, the TO calls and asks where to park. This is a little strange, largely because the TO isn’t even parking when he called, in fact, he has just gotten in his car. This tactic is known as a preemptive lie or an innocuLIEtion. A time optimist knows that rarely will a person simply offer up a lie if not given a reason. By offering up this parking lie, there is no reason that the person relying on the TO should suspect him of volunteering false information. Thus, this seemingly keeps the optimist out of trouble for the time being.
An innoculietion hinders things in two facets. First, it gives false hope. Believing that the TO is parking (especially in this previous situation) gives the illusion of only minimally late, and in essence, no harm done. Second, it reinforces an incorrect timeline. The original timeline was long lost; however, given new information, the relevant planner will adjust a schedule in order to accommodate this new development. It is essential that those of us dealing with Time Optimists begin to understand and pinpoint innoculietions if we ever hope to protect ourselves, and more likely, any plan or schedule we may have.
The last and what I believe to be the most vile portion of a time optimist’s agenda is upon his or her final arrival. At this point, the parties waiting for the late individual are frustrated, annoyed, upset, and above all – late. In response to these feelings and often direct accusations, the time optimist will respond using two tactics above all.
- They will make a point to show that they don’t consider themselves late. In fact, in a time optimists eyes, they are on time, and everyone else was absurdly early.
- They will accuse whomever it is leading the charge against them as being completely unreasonable, usually in some form of comical way.
This second respons serves two purposes. It immediately makes the time optimist look calm, aloof, and puts them in a place of power while also demeaning, angering, and frustrating anyone on the opposite side to no end.
Addressing this final issue correctly is of the utmost importance. Although its instinctive to become irate and practically stammer in disbelief that a human could possess the amount of audacity required to give a response like the one above, one must refrain. The single best way to deal with this is to remain calm. Any hint of heightened emotion will invite another prod from the optimist. The best method to have this conversation (apart from remaining calm) would be a slight recap of the facts over the previous hour. A few repetitive rhetorical questions may work well in this situation, but as long as you don’t appear anything other than cool and collected the Time Optimist will have trouble getting you off balance – conversationally speaking. And so, we have our 3rd and final law of Time Optimism.
3rd Law of Time-Optimism
A Time-Optimist, will truly beleive they are not late, and in doing so, will use every method at their disposal to discredit any who think, declare, or accuse otherwise.
What I have explained here are a few typical symptoms of a chronic time optimist and a few suggestions on methods for dealing with this condition. This is a serious condition and should be taken as such. If you know someone suffering from time optimism they may need professional help, and often, it’s an enormous burden to deal with on a one-on-one basis. There currently is no cure for time optimism, but with some new advancements in time-optimism-therapy, and help from the Institute Nation of Time Inspired and Motivated Education (ON TIME) group, there is hope for suffers of this vicious condition.
If you are a time optimist and can recognize this condition in yourself, please see someone. Make an appointment, and then let someone know your condition, so they can schedule your real appointment for about 30 minutes later.
The Three Laws of Time Optimism:
1. A Time-Optimist will routinely assume and predict they can be ready in the time equivalent to the fastest they have ever gotten ready.
2. A Time-Optimist, when relaying information about their status, will relay information based on their already incorrect assumptions, believing they will make up any lost time somewhere between that moment, and their arrival.
3. A Time-Optimist, will truly beleive they are not late, and in doing so, will use every method at their disposal to discredit any who think, declare, or accuse otherwise.