The ugly, but honest truth of Post Natal Depression, the silent killer for moms and dads.
I don't know if writing this is going to help me, but I hope this helps any mom of dad who thinks they have Post Natal Depression to seek some help. Yes, dad's can also get diagnosed.
When I am suppose to enjoy my little bundle of "joy" like everyone calls a brand new baby it feels like I am drowning. Like there is a dark cloud hanging around my every move. I don't have any joy in taking care of her, or any of my other two children. I came to the shocking realization when I scared myself.
I was busy putting my two eldest to bed while my husband was looking after our youngest. They just couldn't calm down and get to bed. I was struggling , to say the least, with them when I just snapped. I almost broke my hand hitting the table next to my daughter's bed. BUT when when I took my hands and want to shake her so hard that she can just stop and calm down. I STOPPED. I turned around and walked away. That was when I realized there is something massively wrong with me. I am a very proud and private person, so writing this is a very big step, so you can think that I couldn't just get on the phone and call anyone who knows the symptoms. So I got on the internet and began to read and do proper research.
But how do you know when you have Post Natal Depression?
I never thought I had it, especially after I already had two children and I live in a family where being weak is just not an option, but now I am wondering if I haven't had it since the birth of my eldest.But since reading up on the signs and symptoms of Post Natal Depression I am truly wondering.
According to Mayo Clinic these are the possible signs and symptoms of Post Natal Depression:
• Depressed mood or severe mood swings
• Excessive crying
• Difficulty bonding with your baby
• Withdrawing from family and friends
• Loss of appetite or eating much more than usual
• Inability to sleep (insomnia) or sleeping too much
• Overwhelming fatigue or loss of energy
• Reduced interest and pleasure in activities you used to enjoy
• Intense irritability and anger
• Fear that you're not a good mother
• Feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt or inadequacy
• Diminished ability to think clearly, concentrate or make decisions
• Severe anxiety and panic attacks
• Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
• Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postpartum-depression/basics/symptoms/con-20029130
When reading through the above symptoms I saw myself in a lot of them, but not for the last 6 weeks, but I suddenly realized for the last four years I have had most of these symptoms:
• Depressed mood or severe mood swings
• Excessive crying
• Difficulty bonding with your baby
• Withdrawing from family and friends
• Loss of appetite or eating much more than usual
• Inability to sleep (insomnia) or sleeping too much
• Overwhelming fatigue or loss of energy
• Reduced interest and pleasure in activities you used to enjoy
• Intense irritability and anger
• Fear that you're not a good mother
• Feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt or inadequacy
• Diminished ability to think clearly, concentrate or make decisions
• Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
I am worried, but when seeing the statistics by www.panda.org.au I know I am not alone.
I now know that I am not alone. That there are others, men and women struggling with PND.
What happens from when you realized you have a problem:
*Go see a professional.
*If needed they will prescribe anti-depressants. (Sometimes for more than three years)
*You will need to see a counselor.
I know that there are a lot of families like mine where this is a TABOO topic, but rather take care of it than let it "take care of you"
So tomorrow I am off to our doctor to get the help I need, I hope you will do the same.
ASK FOR HELP - TALK ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL - DON'T RUN AWAY- YOU ARE NOT ALONE
Resteem,comment and upvote that we can create awareness.
