What happens when you think that everything you do is good, that you strive to really do your job, support, be kind and respectful and suddenly someone tells you that really is not right?
It is as if your mind is restarted, you start hearing that distant voice in your mind that told you, but that you chose not to listen.
Then you start thinking about what the problem is, and after a while of reflection the word comes to mind: CONFRONTATION and then very close another: FEAR, and there is the secret formula: Fear of Confrontation ...
It's about the fear we feel to say something you don't like, to ask for something and to be told no, not to be heard, or even worse fear of being seen differently.
Sometimes the fear of confrontation is stronger than yourself, and bend the will
It is easy to say, but difficult to recognize and even more overcome, when you have lived with that, tormented by the deepest part of your subconscious it becomes almost impossible to take out everything you have inside and free yourself.
And it becomes a habit, in which every human relationship you have, starts well, but little by little you keep what you don't like, what bothers you, you don't say it, it begins to be more than you can bear and a relationship that should not have been damaged does so because you were not able to express your feelings.
I recognize that dealing with the fear of confrontation is terrible, generally this is reinforced when on occasions where you have been brave and decided to speak, you have received some type of refusal or aggression from your interlocutor. It's a lump in your throat that doesn't let you breathe, and it's panic. I would not know exactly how to describe it, and those who are accustomed to saying things without more are not able to understand or feel empathy for those who do.
It is not easy, however not impossible. I believe that the key is in something of what I have written before but I do not internalize it yet, and it is in self-confidence, in healthy self-esteem, and in the ability to recognize self-worth, to believe that we have merits and rights to be rewarded for what we do and worth.
So in response to the question at the beginning, what happens is that you realize that you cannot be condescending all the time, nor act in a way that pleases others only to appear to be the perfect and ideal person, sooner or later that mask falls and everything you have been hiding is released, and it will be worse.
I leave homework for those who read me, understand me, feel identified and for myself, do an exercise of self-confidence, meditate on self-worth and arm yourself with courage to confront what we don't like.
See you later my friends.