A fine evening as usual, with the weather calm and cool due to the recent rainfall. Shouts of my neighbor's children playing outside just woke me up.
"Mmesoma, oya give me that ball now before I beat you!", Dubem said. He was 2 years older than Mmesoma, his only sister and he always liked to show off his position as the first-born-son.
He was already going to teach her some 'first-born lessons' when I stepped out and dispersed them. They liked to play alot.
"Good evening papa Mmeso", I greeted their father, who just came out to know what was going on.
"Ahh, good evening my son", how are you doing? We exchanged pleasantries and talked awhile about the current politics in the country and then then came the one issue on our lips every time — lack of electricity.
Papa Mmeso didn't delay in tearing them (NEPA/PHCN/EEDC) to pieces with his mouth.
Sometimes, I wondered if God wanted to make him a woman, but changed His mind last last. 😂😂 He had razor-sharp mouth and if you got into any squabble with him, best would be to walk away.
I quickly cut the discussion short, locked my apartment and walked out, rather briskly.
I was on my way to buy fuel for my generator..after all, NEPA had forgotten our area. Maybe because they didn't consider the area worthy of electricity (which is fast turning into an estate by the way) or they just refused to give us light due to sheer wickedness. 😠😠
Shoulders high, headphones plugged in and blasting "Suited — Shekhinah" at the highest volume, I walked down the street, (almost cat-walking) with full swag on and exuding a certain level of pride.
And it wasn't just for nothing.
I was hoping to see my crush today and tell her a thing or two (hopefully impress and win her over, FINALLY). 😍😍
Some distance away, kids played football and "chase". I walked past and they all greeted "Brother, good evening", looked at me and giggled. I found that unusual, because I hardly talked to any of them.
Most were spoilt and over-pampered. So, their greeting came as a surprise.
Anyways, I ignored them and continued walking. Less than 120 seconds later, I heard buzzing sounds around my head. I thought my headphones were malfunctioning and was about to inspect them when I felt a very sharp pain on my neck.
Turning around, they were 'staring' at me - a swarm of bees ready to sting the hell outta me. "these kids have messed with this bee hive again". I thought to myself. ☹☹
This wasn't the first time they would do this, but as spoilt kids, never took any warning serious. And I was so unfortunate to be passing through that same route. I guess my ancestors were asleep today. 😠😠
In a split second, I turned and zooom! I took to my heels. The kids burst out laughing, but that didn't concern me. The main mission now was to get rid of the army of bees already chasing me at 140km/hr.
Still trying to be a big boy, I didn't shout. I was just running like an assassin was after my life and then the worst happened. 😭😭
I missed a step, slipped and fell. A thunderous fall it seemed, because everyone and everything kinda stopped moving at that moment. Guess I was running even faster than the Flash himself. 🙄🙄
Imagine a full-grown man running at full speed for his dear life. What was chasing him? 'Ordinary bees'.!
The bees finally got the chance to perform their "operation sting". They quickly started delivering their painful stings and I was just there, helpless and rolling in the sand. I was being eaten alive by these bastards. Not to add the bruises I already sustained from the fall. ☹☹
Unable to take it anymore, I managed to rise up and immediately felt like the earth should open up and swallow me. Just a few meters ahead was my crush - watching the whole scene I was making and laughing hysterically.
I was very EMBARRASSED. 😭😭
Angered by this, I went into beast mode. I got up, picking up whatever was left of me and a rush of adrenaline flowed to my brain.
Up and away, I ran like a mad man - headed straight back for home. I even forgot the fuel I was going to fetch. After all, how could I go to the filling station looking like someone who just escaped from hell and got a second chance to live on earth?
Slapping my head and hands, trying to get rid of the bees while running at the same time, I sure looked funny as hell. But that wasn't my major concern! ☹☹
Being in that situation, it was like my home was now 120km away. Imagine running, loosing your breath and no sight of home in view?
VERY EXASPERATING!
Finally, my house came into view. I quickly banged the gate open and rushed in. Papa Mmeso immediately saw a 'mad man' rush into the compound and already started ranting.
I just composed myself, ignored him and headed straight for my door. I got in and closed it with such a heavy force that the whole house shook.
Taking a quick shower and changing into new clothes, I headed straight to the nearest Pharmacy for treatment.
Day ruined! ☹☹