Successful relationships leads to successful marriages and it doesn’t just happen by chance or accident. They happen when both parties are committed to creating a positive, nurturing, successful relationship that gave rise to a marriage where both spouses are valued, and validated. But when both parties are not doing things that makes their relationships grow and advance it becomes a problem especially when one part is falling out of the right attitude towards the growth of the relationships.
People get stocked in unhealthy relationships because of the fear of being left alone, it become difficult for them to get out of the toxic relationships in the end, they got married and the marriage become a catastrophe.
The fear of being left alone in a relationship and marriage Is caused by some of the following reasons
1.WHEN YOU ARE SCARED.
the fear of being left alone play a major role in this situation and it affect the women in most cases.
A woman find herself hooked in a relationship that is toxic she can't get out because she is scared of the man, she feels that the man could harm her, some are scared they they cannot find love from any other place, some thinks they HAVE been in the relationship so long and they are not willing to let go are are just too scared. And so many other reasons, but whatever the case may be, the truth here is that a toxic relationship cannot lead to a happy marriage, O yes!, It doesn't work that way relationship is for a while but marriage is forever if a relationship is not making you happy for whatever reasons the marriage either will not bring you happiness.
2.LOVE SLAVES.
You becomes love slave when. You cannot make a decision or have a say in your relationship, you just have to do as you are told by your partner, you take instruction every time because you just want them to be happy, when this happen you totally forget yourself because you cannot make decision for yourself anymore, you are already a slave to love, living your life at the expense of making another person happy it doesn't matter whether you are happy or not. At this point your partner becomes narcissists and of course you cannot quit because you have no say they makes you believed you must do as told, because if you don't you get punished when this you lived with the syndrome of abuse you have no hope being free and either not seeking help anywhere.
3 LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS.
the fear of being left alone steps in when a relationship take took long, especially when it takes about 4years and above of being with a particular partner you began to get scared of leaving without them even though they aren't giving you what you really wanted in the relationship you still live with hope of seeing changes in them later on, for how long will you endure for?! You completely forget that when when a relationship cannot deliver happiness to you it's better you let go, then you begins to think of how long you two has been together and how will you start all over again?! At this junction you make up your mind that whatever the case maybe you will remain in such relationship and then such relationships leads to marriage with your hope of seeing changes rather more issues arises, it's rather late than never your if are going to have a successful marriage it begins with the relationships.
4 HASTING/TIME
hasting is another factors that can ruin relationships and marriage.
Simply because your friends are getting hooked up and marrying doesn't mean you must compete with them.
Most people especially women often times find themselves competing with others when it comes to relationships and marriage they are just tired being single forgetting what works for others might not work foe them as a result they got Hasting and found themselves in an unhealthy relationships and couldn't get out by the time they realise because its too late. therefore, never be in haste or set time for yourself because if you do you might get carried away and found yourself living under the fear of being left alone, take your time to study your partner and and choose the relationship that gives you happiness...
5 PRESSURES AND AGE.
most people suffer the fear of being left alone as a result of pressure arising from parents, families and friends to get married, if you want happiness in your marriage and relationships you must not be push or persuaded to do things that will later hurt you, you can be advice to get hooked up, they make you see reasons you have to, it's fine, but you must always have it in mind that you are the only person who will be in the relationship later on either good or bad you must bear it alone, they can only sympathise. When a woman look at herself and say to her self oh becky you are getting old you must get marry now, that moment she begins to to hunt for relationships if she is not careful when she finds a man probably the relationship turns out to be toxic and she is not enjoying the love the fear of being left alone will set in and remind her of her age then she give in and continues to live in the anguish and regrets
- FANTASY
Not every relationship leads to marriage and not everyone you dated will end up with you, some relationships happen to teach you a lessons and some to help build you.
But when you live on the fantasy of ending up with person you are with now, you will not be able to know whether your relationship is healthy or not because you are consumed by the imaginations in your head you fail to see if they are actually meant for you or not, you never address the unpleasant gesture you see in them because you are afraid of loosing them all you want is your dream to be actualized the fear of being left alone will always keep you in such relationships till its too late....
When relationship get hazardous and unpleasant to you it's better to get out if it, in as much as your partner is not making any changes always remember that whatever you want in your marriage you must begins to practise it in your relationship avoid the fear of being left alone, you are strong alone by yourself and you can do it too. An ingredients you want in your marriage if its isn't included in your relationship has a 99% of failure.... Don't Wait until marriage before the change happen make it happen now. wedding is but for a day but marriage is everyday after wedding and forever, on the wedding day you have people around you gracing the occasion but after that day, only you can grace the marriage and spice it up. also getting married is awesome and staying in the marriage is more important successful relationship leads to successful marriage and vice versa making your relationship works is In your hand..
Hope you have been inspired!
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Dammexalynn..