In my twenty-two years of existence, I see life very strange. One day I was in a most beautiful sunrise that suddenly transformed into a darkest sunset. Everytime I wake up, I do not have an idea how the day will ends but one thing for sure, my life is a result of my own choices. I will wake up the next day living the outcome of my decisions.
My name is Mae, and this is the complete metamorphosis of my life.
I grew up with a great confidence with myself. Since my primary school days, I speak up for my opinion, I perform at my best and I never doubt my own capabilities. Back in high school, there’s one day, I clearly saw myself wearing a white coat holding a mouth mirror. I never dreamt of that since I was a kid but that’s the point of my life, I knew I want to be a dentist.
I went to college and did everything I can to stay in the University and to finish dentistry on time. However, life seems to challenge me. As I am very eager to meet quotas and pass my subjects, unfortunately our family resources ain’t enough to further support my studies. But I never want to give up my dreams, never.
Instead of quiting I chose to help myself, support my own needs and achieve my goals. From online selling of charger protector and swim suits to packed lunch, I did it. But it cannot sustain daily necessities. I also did invites and got involved to an investment scheme but it did not work out. I got so many debts. It became a repetitive cycle of ups and downs, one day I succeed the next day I failed and not able to bounce back, but I stood up and try something else.
July of 2016 I decided to work while studying. I entered a bpo company and started to answer directory calls miles away. From my 7:30am-7:30pm class in Recto I had to rush myself to Libis for my 9:00pm-6:00am shift five times a week. I don’t know if I’m helping myself or killing myself by depriving sleep. I’m physically awake but mentally not.
I’m so focused to the idea of I need to work in order to continue my studies. Everybody think I’m a superhuman, but I am not; I never was. My body is exhausted, I cannot function well. I cannot finish my subject and clinical requirements. I can’t even pass my quality at work. I was physically tired, mentally drained and emotionally down. I felt alone and hopeless.
One thing I learned, you can never do great on both things at a single time. Sometimes, we need to give up something for a while, decide what to prioritize, do our best and let God do the rest. I paused and pray. Therefore, I took a break in school, I resigned and decided to continue what I love the most. I postponed my dental degree but worked as a dental assistant instead. It was a hard decision giving up my dreams for
a while, I did not expect that coming. I knew to myself that I can be on track at my target timeline. But life made it hard for me.
I was like a caterpillar inside my coccoon. It was so hot, dark and I can’t breathe. Everyday I see no chance that I’ll be back on my race, I thought it was already game over.
Just like a caterpillar getting out on its cocoon via small hole no help at all, I was torn with all my problems and self diappointments but I had to pick up myself and spread my wings beautifuly free. I have to show to the world that I deserve unlimited chances and I can be the person I want to be.
God really moves in mysterious ways.
A blessing in disguise came to my life. I have a cousin that whole-heartedly believe in me and she never think twice of helping me. She helped me financially to be able to get back in college.
After all the sleepless nights and goodnight tears, today I am a student and a clinician once again. Not just that, I am also a part owner of SpaceJam, a comfort food bistro in Quintos Sampaloc, Manila.
I am still a dental assistant in a very well known company and pursuing my dental degree as well. I am soon to be Joana Mae N. Cuizon, DMD.
Aside from that I am now part of Steemit community, I’m a blogger under steemitdiversify and steemitdiversifyntensity. (Shout out to my friend 
I learned a lot about life, every aspect of it has something to do with what I am now. I will never be the best version of myself if I didn’t experince all those trials.
Life is never easy. There are no shortcuts. We have to take every road even how rocky it may be. Remember, a beautiful buterfly exist and gracefully fly after its very difficult life cycle.