Everyone is assigned gender roles in our society. The men are supposed to be strong, detached and sexually aggressive while the women are quiet, subservient and sexually passive, such that they are at the beck and call of the men.
Yes, you may squeeze your face and say, “this topic again? But times have changed na.” But let me first correct an impression. Times have not changed, they are still changing. Also, you may think that this matter should be long forgotten. However, women are still seen as having lesser rights than men.
Let me paint a picture that gets the point across perfectly. Supposing a woman of 45-50 loses her husband, people hardly expect her to remarry as though she is suddenly dead inside. However, if a man of that age loses his wife, a year later, people will begin asking why he hasn’t remarried. Why can’t the same thing happen in both cases? Menopause does not define a woman’s sexual needs.
Due to the picture painted by our society, I have heard of women who even on their marriage beds are scared of expressing themselves sexually. Such women fear that being sexually ferocious, even in the sanctity of marriage might make their men see them as unduly unwomanly. Yet, I wonder: is it my inability to meet your gaze as a man and my being pliant that makes me womanly?
It is rather unfair that women are not seen as sexual beings. If a man cheats, the society finds it easier to forgive him but if a woman does it, her belongings will be out on the streets and she will be ostracized the next instant. Abi congee no dey worry woman? I am not saying that infidelity should be excused on any count but can we try and be less of hypocrites? Women have sexual needs too!
