Legend has it that Nasrudin was walking alone at night when he saw a group of people approaching in the far distance. Instantly, his imagination began to toy with him: "They are surely robbers!", he thought. "No, why just robbers? Murderers, cutthroats! About to set upon me, a lonely traveller, leave me for dead and steal all my possessions! How are my wife and children going to cope without me?!"story culled from Uncommon HelpNasrudin's heart began to pound. His mouth became as dry as his palms became wet. He shook from head to toe and found himself breathing like an unfit man running to the finishing line of his first marathon.
Having thoroughly terrified himself, he stumbled into a nearby graveyard and cowered, shaking inside an open tomb, awaiting his fate. Meanwhile, the harmless strangers, worried by his dramatic behaviour, approached him and looked with concern down into the tomb. "What are you doing down there?", they asked.
Nasrudin, calming down, quickly said: "Well, put it this way: I am here because of you, and you are here because of me!"
[During the course of the article, I'll be using the words fear and anxiety interchangeably, because of their similarity.]
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There is a nearly 100% probability that we have all been in that situation where our palms or entire body become sweaty, or we suddenly become fidgetty when made the centre of attention in a gathering (even among peers), especially a large one. You may have wondered: "Am I the only one this happens to?". No, you are not. It's kind of normal, and probably involuntary, but that doesn't mean it can't be controlled; many people also experience this.
In this post, I outlined some tips to tackle this confidence-killer, categorizing them into preventive and control measures.
Preventive Measures
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Be Punctual:
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It is said that punctuality is the soul of business. This is very true because punctuality can either make or mar one's reputation. Apart from that, punctuality plays an important in setting your mood at any gathering. Being punctual puts you in the right frame of mind.
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Dress nicely and appropriately:
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A good and comfortable appearance gives you the right composure to face the crowd.
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Be Prepared: When attending any gathering, always go prepared, especially when you know the spotlight might be put on you.
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Interaction: At any gathering, acquaint yourself with the immediate environment (people, practices, rules, etc.).
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Avoid perfectionism: Do not always strive to be perfect. Striving for perfection only helps set you off balance when you commit an error.
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Be YOUrself: Do not be too concerned about what others say or think about you. When you worry a lot about what others say or think, it feeds your imagination negatively, which in turn, fuels anxiety.
Control Measures
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Be comfortable with fear/anxiety: Fear/anxiety is part of nature, so accept it when it comes. Whenever it comes, just take a deep breath, and compose yourself.
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Take control of your imagination: Consider the illustration at the beginning of this post. Nasrudin saw a group walking towards him, and he immediately thought the worst of them; he allowed his imagination toy with him which emanated into fear/anxiety.
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Fear/anxiety thrive when we imagine the worst (uncontrollable imagination). People who chronically misuse their imagination tend to suffer much more anxiety than those who either don't think much about future or those who do so constructively.
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As a remedy to uncontrollable imagination, try as much as possible to be optimistic.
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Maintain a comfortable posture/position and act normally: When anxiety sets in, carry on talking or behaving as if nothing is different. This sends a powerful signal to your unconscious mind that its over-dramatic response is not needed.
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Be flexible: In a gathering, be free and take part in activities.
In conclusion, I leave you with some useful quotes.
To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another. Katherine Paterson.
Fear/anxiety is only a product of our imagination of things as chimera. Chukwuamaka Osuji.
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