I'm constantly amazed when I hear someone complain that their kid doesn't read. Johnnie doesn't like reading... That is such a non-argument, if you ask me. I love reading, and as a writer I'm probably biased, but I don't think there is such a thing as “he doesn't like reading”.
It just means you failed in inspiring a love of books in him, at a young age.
And a lot of these people go on to tell you they did everything they could – they bought him books and told him to read and all, it's a mystery why he still doesn't want to. But the trouble with most of these people is very simple – they don't read!
Image
See, it's not a mystery at all. Example plays a huge part in a child's learning and development. It's not enough to just give him books or hire tutors or tell him to read. If he sees Mum and Dad just lying in front of the telly every night, that's what little Johnnie will grow up to do.
You may not understand this, but your child looks up to you, like a lot. The first person a kid admires in their life is his parent. I'm not talking about when you grew up and began seeing some faults in your parents, no, I'm talking about when you were five.
If you spend some time with the large majority of five-year-olds, you'll see that most of them are trying to emulate their parents, in some way. Because when your child is small, you – the parent – are his superhero. You're the one capable of fixing anything, you know everything, you can very probably travel to the moon.
It's really a shame that so many parents waste that valuable opportunity.
If you, the parent, can be this amazing superhero without reading books, then your child sees that books are disposable. Let's face it, if you don't need books to be a superhero, then what's the point of them at all?
You can't complain that your child didn't grow up liking to read, if you didn't read yourself. You just can't. I mean, I get it, you're busy, as a grown-up, with work and all that.
How dare you assume your child's time is any less valuable?
If books aren't worth your precious time, why would they be worthy of your child's? I mean reading is amazing, but if your kid sees that you treat reading as an obligation, as a sort of homework, something that is not fun at all, how could he ever know it's amazing?
He'd much rather do things that he sees as fun, like play. Besides, your kid will soon grow into an adult himself. He'll get a job, or have school, he'll get a girlfriend, he'll become busy too. He won't make time, for the simple reason that you didn't make time.
And it's not just books, they're just an example. This goes for pretty much anything. If you can be the superhero while being cruel, or while having terrible manners, or while slapping your wife around – then you make those things seem okay to your young child, when they're really not.
I mean, look at all the bad traits that are so common among our species. Alcohol, abuse, bullying and the like. It's been shown that bullies were bullied themselves, people who abuse their families were abused in their own homes. Kids with alcoholic parents often grow up to develop some sort of substance issue themselves. Because example is the best way of teaching something.
Parents make this mistake of wanting their children to be someone. And then they're surprised that their kid is not that person.
But the actual problem is that they expect their child to be someone they, themselves, are not. But if that person is so great and so worthy of admiration, why aren't you trying to be that, too?