Children who often lie very annoying and often make parents angry. Though actually overcome this is not too difficult. However, before knowing the solution, it's good if we both know the cause of children lie.
According to Dr. Laura Markham, author of Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids, the reason a child lies is more or less the same as the reason adults do it. They feel it will help, and make others feel better. And the danger, if the child already assumes that a lie is an effective strategy, they will continue to do so.
You need to know also that children usually learn to lie from adults. So, they usually know lies because they never feel disappointed in the lies made by adults. Examples we give, seen and imitated. Such as avoid the guests who come, or even lie to them with false promises. It could also be like having the child say to his aunt that he likes the gift he gives even though the child does not like it.
The child, in his early development, could not distinguish "white lies" from such a lie as to say bad things as threats. Familiar with "If you do not want to eat, later mama stay away ya .."? so no matter how hard we try to make a child honest, the example we give is the best teacher.
Well, but, despite being raised in an honest environment, children can also learn to lie by themselves. Because in fact, a lie is one of the achievements of its growth. In the lie, it usually indicates that he has been able to fantasize and understand that everyone can respond differently depending on the information he provides. So sometimes toddlers can not distinguish fantasies with lies. For example by saying "I do not eat candy kok, it's a dog who eats .."
Then what can we do to educate children is always honest and frank? One article on elitebba.com once described it:
- Keep calm
When you find a child lying, do not rush into anger or punish him. Relax first and remember that he is still learning. If you get too angry or even punished, we will miss the opportunity to teach them why lying is wrong and he must be honest. In fact, the punishment will instead make it a more intelligent liar, you know. Because the child will try to improve the ability to lie until not caught
- Avoid the trick question
If you already know that he is lying, rather than asking a trick question that makes him caught, better explain honestly what you see and explain badly. This will make your child feel you are on his side.
g old is a very extraordinary task, like a pottery craftsman. Parents have "clay" in his hands that he is forming as he wants. Your child too, they are like clay in your hands. Form them as well as you want and "burn" them in order to be a form that can benefit you, yourself and others.
Not giving 'labels'
It's better for Children to know that you do not like it if you lie rather than call it a liar. The child will continue to record the label on his head.
- Give it another chance
If he is caught lying, give him a chance to confess and tell the truth. The child must also understand that everyone can make mistakes, but mistakes can be fixed.
- Praise her honesty
When he tells the truth, do not be silent. Give praise so that he understands, you appreciate his honesty. Say "Mama knows it's hard to tell the truth, Mama is so proud that you're open and frank."