Starting the school without tears and not dying in the attempt is something that every family wants . It is almost like a rite of passage for both the child himself and the family, and that always produces a certain fear, a certain anxiety. However, surviving the first day of school for our children can be easy if we follow some simple tips.
Now, if we think about it for a moment, we will realize that this moment so full of emotions and anxieties is really only a first threshold. Our child, our child, is getting older. Start child or primary is only the beginning of a great adventure.
Because we do not forget, there will surely be more days of tears, but without doubt, many more will come of smiles, discoveries and wonderful moments to remember. School is that second social circle of a child after the family . It is therefore necessary that we are skilled managers in these processes to favor a good integration. We must offer them adequate strategies so that they learn to be part of these environments.
Here are series of keys so the return to school is less traumatic, neither for you nor for your children. Believe it or not, we're all going to survive this day.
It is often said that if a child already has experience in daycare, he does not live with such drama on the first day of school. However, we should not trust ourselves either. Each situation is different and we can not foresee what our son will feel. It is best to go "preparing the ground".
1.Awareness: we prepare before school starts
- The best thing to do is to prepare our children about this moment throughout the summer. "Let's start school" or "now you're older" are words that will come to us very well.
Going to school supposes growing up, and in order for a child to feel a little older, it is necessary to integrate this in each step of this ritual of entering school .
Let her choose part of her school supplies : wallets, cases, lunch boxes, notebooks ... Make her part of this process by having her voice and vote.
In turn, it is also important that the child knows more or less what is going to be found . Try to have conversations with him explaining that he will have the opportunity to meet more children. That he will go to learn, that there will be a series of hours away from home. That he will play in a playground, that he will be in a classroom and that he will eat in a dining room with his classmates.
Address your doubts and your concerns.Above all, try to see it as something interesting, something that you will like. If the child notice concern in you, his anxiety will intensify.
2.Attend the emotions of your child days before starting school
- Children tend to express their emotions two or three days before classes begin. Facts that should concern us are undoubtedly the one who does not want to eat or the one who urinates at night in bed.
These are undoubtedly more worrisome factors that we should not neglect. Also, if you have other older children of school age and these, ironize with the smallest frightening, it is necessary to control these situations.
Normalize, remove tensions , try to feel excited. If they see joy in you they will be infected by your enthusiasm.
3.The first day of class: what you should and should not do
- You do not go to school on the exact day and time if it's his first day at school. This would mean leaving the child quickly and traumatically.
The best thing to do is to go ahead so that he can become familiar with you, the school, the classrooms, the classmates, the teachers ...
Do not leave him alone immediately in the company of other children or in the classroom with teachers.
Do not say phrases as sharp or closed as " do not cry", "you have to behave yourself or mom will be angry" , "what you have to do is ignore your teacher or you will be kicked out of school" ...
It is more about removing that negative connotation. Make use of emotional intelligence . "Mom and Dad know you're going to have a good time and you're going to make lots of friends.", "Do not be afraid because the teacher is going to take care of you, and your classmates are also as nervous as you are".
Another aspect to keep in mind is the time factor. Children do not control it or understand it . This means that we should not fall into the error of saying "you will be home immediately", because it is not true. For a child, the most complex part of starting school is separation from us, from what is known to him, from what gives him security and affection.
The best way is to tell them that when the class is over you will be there to pick it up. Do not give false expectations. Focus on your child the figure of the teacher, tell him that they will take care of him, that they will love him and attend to him.
4.The first day of school is followed by a second that is not easy either
People often talk about how complicated it is to start school talking only about that first day. However, we believe it or not the most complex can be the second.
Once the child knows how the routines of the classroom are, it is very possible that he will tell us that he "does not want to return". Until our children enter the daily dynamics of school they will not adjust their emotions.
You have to have patience and first of all, keep maintaining a positive attitude. It is not just about telling them "you are going to go or not". We must be intuitive, empathetic as well as original.
Make him see that you understand what he feels, but also show him that we all have responsibilities. Mom and Dad work and he or she must go to school.
Last but not least, try to rest well, eat and enjoy your moments of leisure.