Many times we see adults behave like children, and have attitudes that are not according to their age when they are faced with obstacles, or situations that interfere in the performance of the tasks they perform. Or they are simply wrapped up in scenarios that they can not handle. In these moments is where the so-called "Frustration" appears
Do you know what frustration is? According to experts, it is:
Frustration is the emotional response we experience when we have a desire, a need, an impulse ... and we are not able to satisfy it, then we feel anger and disappointment, a state of emptiness not satisfied, where the greater the barrier to our Desire greater will be the resulting frustration. translated from Spanish Psicoglobal
So, let's say that frustration is that unpleasant sanction we feel when something becomes unattainable, and we can not satisfy that need.
All people will become frustrated at some point, it is normal and necessary. However, not everyone will respond in the same way. And there are very specific reasons for this. It is necessary to point out that frustration is part of life, it will always exist to a greater or lesser extent. But the important thing is to know how to respond to it. And for that there is "Tolerance to frustration"
The majority (not to say all) of our behaviors in becoming adults, have been shaped from the beginning of life. And tolerance to frustration is no exception.
We do observe an older person, be intolerant, and if we have the possibility of getting into their personal life we will discover that this attitude is only the result of years of upbringing without frustration.
When we see a child crying because he is not able to complete a simple game, and crying makes parents solve problems instantly, we are feeding the chances of that child growing up with the idea that everything in the future will be satisfied in the same way.
The demands of children have the particularity of being imposing because they do not have the capacity to distinguish between time and external demands.
You have not told her that they tell a child "In a month we will go to the beach" and that is enough for the child to tell us every day, are we going to the beach? It is normal, it is the result of his inability to distinguish time, just as he considers that everything revolves around him. For the child the only real demands are those of themselves, however for this reason it is vital to teach them little by little that not all their demands will be met.
When you are a child in most cases you have parents or representatives who can avoid or ensure that the child is not frustrated, so the concept of life can be distorted to believe that throughout life will always be satisfied the demands that may exist.
As we grow we are faced with new scenarios, different contexts with different elements, papa and mama who were the ones who fully pleased the child, will be displaced in authority by whoever is the teacher in the institution, and she will not be able to please the child, As the groups grow older they become larger, and the attentions diminish. So if the child has not experienced frustrating situations will be forced to experience them and their response to these events can generate very negative results for him.
The exposure to these events can gradually benefit the person, providing a different vision, creating alternative responses to cope with similar situations later.
For Abram Amsel, frustration may arise in 3 scenarios
- Approach-Avoidance
An individual who does not know how to respond to frustration could become a person who performs actions that are not necessarily beneficial for him, but the fear of losing could incapacitate him to make different decisions.
Example: it is like a couple that has decided to get married, but they realize that the best thing is divorce, however the word failure is something that nobody is willing to live. And they decide to stay together even if they are not fully satisfied.
- Incompatibility of positive objectives.
This basically appears when we want two things, but we can not find the point of equilibrium. Example: it would be like wanting to take a healthy diet, for health, but you want to eat something unhealthy, because you have the need to do it. Both options have positive points for the individual, but they have incompatibility between them.
- The wall or barrier
This could be the element of greatest weight for Venezuelans, where we have obstacles or barriers that prevent us from achieving goals or satisfying desires. Provoking frustrations.
Consequences.
Feeling frustrated generates emotional responses in people who are to defend themselves and protect themselves, but these can sometimes represent a bigger problem. As the frustration grows, the consequences can be significant.
recommendations
In the face of frustrating events it is recommended to assume responsibilities, several people before the same event will not respond in the same way, this means that the situation alone is not determined to be frustrating, there is a personal burden and this can be restructured and assumed in a different way .
Every process always has something positive, since each experience will always leave at least the learning and knowledge to react to it in the next opportunity. The person must restructure this event and assimilate the consequences separately to get the positive points of each experience.
And finally, to avoid situations that generate high frustrations it is necessary to set realistic goals, the objectives must be achievable and be within your means. It is easy to get frustrated if we want impossible things, it is always important to set goals within our capacities to minimize the possibility of getting frustrated.
This has been all for today, I would like to know your opinion, to know if you remember any frustrating situation and in what way you have left it.
PS: if you consider that you can not control frustration in any way it is necessary that you go with a specialist since these emotions have to become pathologies.
Thank you for taking the time to read, and to share. Thank you very much
For an adult to develop tolerance to frustration he must have experienced frustrations in his childhood and have learned ways of alternative responses.
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