We are living in highly competitive societies where even some toddlers are sent to attend maths development classes and our children are often also encouraged to start reading before they have even reached grade 1. While parents can be pardoned for simply being concerned about the future of their kids, these little bodies need time to learn to "just be" - before they start to feel the pressure of the world and in turn, failure.
Don't get me wrong, failure is a normal part of life and in fact, it is a healthy part of life. Failure is what helps us learn and grow and it builds character too. But if young children are pressurized to learn before their minds are ready and if they have not yet learnt to cope with failure, then it can have hazardous effects on their self-esteem and future academics - it almost hampers their growth!
Five Tips On How To Teach Children To Cope With Failure
1. Appreciate the journey, not the destination.
Teach your children that life is here to enjoy and that it is the effort that counts, not necessarily the outcome. It doesn't matter how many goals were scored, how amazing the drawing is or if they got an A for their essay. What counts is that they enjoyed doing it and that they put in the effort required. Continuously tell them that if they enjoyed the process, put their best effort in and learnt something new, then the end result is immaterial.
2. The importance of games.
I always same that children of all ages learn best through fun activities that stimulate their minds and ignite thought patterns. Play games with your child and when you lose, do it gracefully. Be the example and show them that it was the game that mattered, not who won it. This highly competitive world we live in demands that their will always be those who lose or fall short, that's OK - simply prepare for the next game.
3. Put the pressure off.
I'm mostly talking about you here, stop putting pressure on yourself! Children feed off of our emotions and they are constantly watching our actions, and mimicking them too. If you make a mistake, go easy on yourself. When you have disappointed yourself, go ahead and show your disappointment (it's normal to be sad about our failures) but then pick yourself up again, smile, and try again, or try something new. What's important here is that our children see how handle our reactions and expectations in a positive light.
4. Don't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees.
As parents we are here to guide our youngsters and to help set opportunities a long their paths. Let these opportunities be realistic to who they are. Some children excel in seated exams, while other's thrive in a more casual environment. Know your child and allow them to attend a school and extra activities that are suited to who they are, not who you want them to be. These children are usually more self-motivated in their environment and do not simply give up in the face of failure.
5. Give room for mistakes.
Let mistakes happen. Do not use the above to try and form a perfect little bubble for your child, the aim her is not to cushion them, but to prepare them to handle the failures and mistakes as and when they happen.
“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.” ― Paulo Coelho, Brida
Source Link: http://www.womensweb.in/articles/teach-kids-handle-failure/
Remember that every child (and adult for that matter is different), you know your kids and you know what is right for them, well, I hope you do (another whole post needed for this topic). If going against the tide is what your child needs, then do it, don't worry about other's judgments and opinions. How you react when you fail is what determines your success!
Much love - 