I ponder as I clench my hands tightly. My gaze was fixed on spotlight blinking red but eyes not seeing. My mind is wandering for the things that I need to finish and it become white noise along with the music blasting through my earphones.
I had a class last week. Not as a student but as a teacher. Every morning, we have a devotional session, the school I am working with is a Christian school and it has always been a custom to start the day with a devotional. There are times that I don’t wanna talk about God in front of them. I despise the way they react to things as if it is just a mere compulsory everyday.
The light flashed green and I feel the inertia as the bus suddenly move.
The physics class last week was mind blowing and nerve wrecking. I am not a science teacher, I majored MATHEMATICS. I love the way how numbers dance each other in a piece of paper as well as how they actually connect with each other. But unfortunately, I am teaching Chemistry, Physics and Natural Sciences. Was it a wise idea? At the time it seemed like it,but now I don’t know. Though thinking about my students and how they perceive education as a tool for them to enjoy teen days that they seems to neglect the idea of success.
The bus stopped in a “bastap”. My seat mate went down to buy something.
Should I buy? I sighed. I feel hungry but a part of me doesn’t want to go down. I am tired. Sometimes, I can feel how life is tiring, teaching is tiring that you just want to lie down and go back to sleep every morning. But thinking of how I actually touch some part of their life makes me smile in wonder. Even if how tired I can be serving and teaching them is my ministry. Being a Senior High School teacher sounds so enticing but it never been easy. I need to handle not just their studies but their life.
Didn’t notice that the bus is moving already.
Time flies too fast. Never thought that I actually graduated and was able to get a degree of education Never ever thought of passing the board examination . Three years ago after I graduated I never ever thought that I’ll be teaching Accountancy and Business Finance. I did pull everything perfectly from scratch.
A student was once asked me if I was really a Math major because it seems like I knew more about Economics and Business.
The bus suddenly stopped because there was a sudden checkpoint and inspection. My hands are sweaty and I actually tremble in fear.
Fear? Of what?
Fear that they will see through me. That every single day. I tried to give them the kind of information that they need. I studied just like a student meeting a lot of project deadlines and finishing things that are being piled up. Fear that I might be wrong and somehow disappoint the. In times of doubt like this, I can only trust and pray to my one and only peace. God.
The bus conductor was shouting on top of his lungs calling the passengers who will go down. This a sign of me that I already arrived.
Arrived? I laugh not because I saw something funny or I am getting crazy. I laugh because I remember that I have to check my phone and excitedly get my phone in my pocket. Checking if someone followed me and upvoted my post in Steem.
P.S. If you are a student or already a professional take time to say Thanks to your teachers. They are teaching not because they need to earn, not only teaching you the subject but they are actually teaching you to live your life in a meaningful living.
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https://cebufinest.com/bastap-ultimate-chill-unwind-food-stop-cebu-north/
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