I’m taking it day by day.

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Something really big happened to me just 2 days ago. A GOOD big. But who would’ve thought that after that is something unexpectedly bad? I wasn’t prepared for it. Not at all.

I remember now, how I’m always scared of being really happy and it’s because of what comes after that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still proud of my progress just ashamed of my downfall. :(

All I want is to be better. I’m trying. Really hard at that. But it’s just one problem after the other.

I broke down. I couldn’t control myself. I’ve seen the worst in me, what have become of me. I’m not proud of it at all. You might be asking, if I’m not proud of it then why am I writing about it? Honestly, I don’t know, all I know is that I want to keep it real. I just want you all to see I’m not perfect. I want you to see both sides of the coin. I want you to be part of my journey all throughout.

Yesterday, I finally had the courage to tell my sister I need help. She’s a psychologist. Too bad you can’t diagnose a family member nor have a counseling session as it can be bias. But she’s always trying to help me. Words of wisdom and comfort here and there always readily available when I need it. She’s seriously the best sister ever!
We dediced to find someone I can talk to about it. PLEASE, PLEASE PRAY FOR ME.

I’m not entirely sure if my road to being better has overwhelmed me. I was thinking too far ahead. I am in a really bad shape. So I decided to take it one step at a time from here on. I’m going to take it day by day. I’ll try to be better each day as it comes along. My goal is still there, I just decided to take it on piece by piece and not try and accomplish everything in one day everyday.

If this isn’t yet the biggest step I’m taking this year, I don’t know what is. Thank you to my Ohana Hive account@steemitfamilyph for having my back, for supporting me. I’m sure I’ll never be alone in this journey. My family (by blood), my boyfriend, and my ohana, will always have my back. I know they’re just as proud of me as I am of myself for trying. I’m blessed to have you guys. And to the people I’ve never even seen before nor have a conversation with, but are there giving me support, thank you.

This is for me and for everyone else who believes in me!