★WHAT IS UNDERSTANDING AND WHAT IS MISUNDERSTANDING?
★WHAT IS A RELATIONSHIP?
★ CAUSES OF MISUNDERSTANDING IN RELATIONSHIP.
★ WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF TWO PARTNERS DO NOT UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER?
★WHY IS UNDERSTANDING IMPORTANT IN RELATIONSHIPS?
★ HOW DO I UNDERSTAND MY PARTNER BETTER IN MY RELATIONSHIP?
★ CONCLUSION
So what's RELATIONSHIP
Relationship means being connected. Under which we have intimate relationship which is an interpersonal relationship that involves emotional or physical intimacy.
WHAT IS UNDERSTANDING
It is the ability to comprehend or understand something. It also means awareness or tolerance.While understanding in relationship means sympathetically aware of your partner's feelings, weakness and strength.
WHILE MISUNDERSTANDING Means failure to understand something or someone properly. It might be your partner, families or your co workers which mostly leads to argument or a break in relationships.
Understanding is very important in relationships. I'll say it's one of the rudiments to a lasting relationship
Now to the CAUSES OF MISUNDERSTANDING IN RELATIONSHIPS
MIND READING
It's an intellectual behavioral therapy tool that speaks to the idea that we sometimes mind-read other people, and we also expect others to mind-read us. Misunderstanding springs from the assumtion that we at times expect people especially our partner to simply “just know” what we are thinking or feeling, without ever speaking to them about it and if he/she doesn't have a slight clue of what's wrong with us, we tend to flare up.
WAR OF PERCEPTIONS
Another pitfall that many relationships fall into is the Problem of perception For some people, they believe that their perception is the absolute truth without considering others.Tho it may feel right in the moment but it can cause a misunderstanding at the end.
BEING RIGHT:
Another common cause of misunderstanding is that it will ruin any relationship. An obsession with being “right.” If you are in a conflict, and your goal is to prove the other wrong, you are setting yourself up for an even bigger fight. One major reason for being right is that people wants to be heard and understood which can lead to a disaster. The most important thing is to let go of being right; it is a battleground that results in very little, and if done enough times, can cost you your relationship .
👉🏻 PREOCCUPATION WITH SELF:
Many Relationship crash when individuals become preoccupied with themselves, they miss the opportunity to understand their partner's perspective. The best tool is to check in with yourself during the conflict. Ask: “ how interested am I in learning about what happened to my partner?"
If you find that you are only concerned with having your story be heard, then you are in a state of being preoccupied with yourself. Try as compassionate as you can to understand your partner.
CONSEQUENCES OF MISUNDERSTANDING IN RELATIONSHIPS
When little argument and unnecessary issue start to creep in the relationship might crash when u least expect. One of the consequences of misunderstanding in relationships is
👇🏼MIGHT LEAD TO A BREAK UP
Though misunderstanding is normal in relationships but if it's not properly handled can bring an end to the relationship. Learn how to understand your partner and fights each other's weakness together in other not to loose your relationship.
TRUST ISSUES
Incessant misunderstanding between partners breeds trust issues. Give your partner a benefit of doubts, understand that they might be facing a difficult situation and trust them because if there's no love then the relationship has no basis.
A BREACH IN COMMUNICATION
When you begin to give room for misunderstanding over little things that doesn't worth it, you might begin to communicate less with your partner which might abruptly end your relationship. Understand your partner well, if there's anything you don't seems to understand about them ask instead of keeping distance from them.
And lastly 👉🏻 FIGHTS
When you don't understand your partner, fights and quarrels over trivial issues will begin to occur. You might start to see your partner as a selfish being who cares about him/herself alone. Instead of this false assumption, have a heart to heart talk with your partner with that, you begin to quarrel less and also understand each other better.
NOW TO THE IMPORTANCE OF UNDERSTANDING
👇🏼IT ENHANCES LOVE
One major importance of understanding is that it strengthens the cord of love btwn partners. Though misunderstanding is inevitable,but if properly managed by both partners it will increase the love between both partners and you will also see your partner as the best half for you.
IT PROMOTES A PEACEFUL RELATIONSHIP
Another importance of understanding is that it promotes a peaceful relationship. When you try to understand your partner, there won't be room for unnecessary arguments and fights you will get to realize that the relationship doesn't worth the quarrels.
IT PROMOTES EMPATHY
Empathy as earlier defined means putting yourself in someone's shoes. Understanding helps to have empathy for others especially your partner, it helps to think about others. Empathy helps to start a conversation with your partner with compassion and also stay open minded.
And lastly
KEY TO A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
Understanding is like a canoe that paddles a relationship. Healthy relationship can only work when you understand your partner.Build strength out of eachothers weaknesses, give your partner a listening ear and don't always jump into conclusions.
HOW DO I UNDERSTAND MY PARTNER BETTER
Well it's not as difficult as you think
BRING EMPATHY
Empathy means putting yourself in someone's shoes. It is the single most important thing when trying to understand others especially your partner. You should ask yourself; if you were them, would you act the same way? Or what could be making them act that way? Empathy is a skill that should be practiced and also be improved on, it starts with you!
LISTEN ACTIVELY
Listening to your partner's talk is a vital part of understanding them,but to be truly understanding you need to be an active listener. You should engage in the conversation instead of just nodding. By doing this, your partner will keep opening up and letting you into their lives. You can be an active listener by; Asking questions during the conversation, Reacting to emotional turns, sharing your related experiences.
LOOK PAST FIRST IMPRESSIONS
This is not to say that first impressions are not important, they are but sometimes the first impression you think about someone might be wholly different if you eventually try to get closer with them. Some people might be frazzled or worried the first time you meet them but you start to understand them when you spend quality time together. People can be complex and tend to change from time to time.
PAY ATTENTION TO BODY LANGUAGE
Body language helps to better understand your partner's mood and intentions. You can use their body language to clue into their broader intentions. Most times, what a person says is hardly what they mean. How often have you told someone that something is "fine" when you really mean the opposite?
Body language is a broad topic on it's own...You really need to know your partner's body language
Here are few tips about body language and some clues that can help you understand your partner more instead of listening alone:
👉🏻THE HEAD: Is their chin up confidently, or tilted down in a sign of unhappiness? Do they make confident direct eye contact, or avoid your gaze(and likely the truth) when talking? When they smile, do their eyes crinkle genuinely or does only their mouth smile?
👉🏻Shoulders and Torso: Slouching indicates fear, unhappiness, or a lack of confidence, but when happy he/she will keep his/her torso up and back. If your partners arms are folded and body closed off, they are feeling shy or angry. Open arms and chest indicate an open and confident person .
👉🏻Waist: Where does a person face their hips? This is almost always at the person or thing they are devoting the majority of their attention to.
👉🏻Feet and Hands: Are they calm and still or fidgety and nervous? Constant movement belies constantly moving or shifting thoughts, though this could be either anxiety or boundless enthusiasm, depending on the circumstances.
CONCLUSION
Understanding requires a whole lot of patience.
✔Speak how you like to be spoken to
✔Soften your judgement
✔Affirm before you complain
✔ Approach the situation with compassion
✔Start with empathy
And remember that healthy relationship is strengthened by the willingness to understand .A person of understanding is thoughtful, empathetic, and knowledgeable. Understanding comes from an open, honest attitude and emotional maturity which of THESE do you POSSESS?