On their long journey back home to Criminalia, the Miller Klan crossed paths with SirKnight and others in the Land of Concordia who informed him of a conquest that has yet to be commenced.
ref: https://steemit.com/steemlords/@jackmiller/steemlords-introducing-sir-jack-the-humble-man
Being a simple man, who knows no boundaries as far as challenges go, he looked at his wife Lady Sylvia who knew that her man shall not be able to resist. So without any words exchanging between them, Lady Sylvia and her kinder set forth to The Garden of Eden known to some as Criminalia whilst Jack put on his armour of yesteryear and belted his sword to set forth on a journey that shall set the path to many more adventures of our Steemlords in future.
Sir Jack, knowing that his family are safe and sound makes way to the gathering place. Along his trip he meets Lord Percy a fellow expat who likewise has seen much of this world. During their interactions the inevitable happens. When a snobby Pom and a Criminalian exchange words the Pom finds himself offended (as if we expected anything else from a Pom). In a fierce exchange of words in the chambers of Concordia where the two fellow expats now rivals have met Sir Jack rips out his dirty hand knitted sock and slaps the silly bugger across the face.
Little did Lord Percy know that a Criminalian Sock would one day be the key ingredient in toxic warheads used in future warfare.
ref: https://steemit.com/steemlords/@tremendospercy/steemlords-introducing-lord-percival-the-magnificent
With the toxic fungi now in place Sir Jack knows that his Pommie rival shall be no challenge to any of our Criminalians as the toxins shall infect the eyesockets and impair the Britanians eyesight, giving him a terrible disadvantage along the path to find the mythical sword Ex Calliber.
However, in his dementia which resulted from the sock slap, he reacted and ripped a dastardly circle of fire. Dropping his guts and using a flint to light it. Luckily Sir jack had a Saxon shield to protect him from these metholonical flames and uncovered one of our Britaninans secret weapons.
Secret ingredient:
At the risk of being burned alive in this ring of fire the information gathered has ensured that TeamAustralia has the upper hand.
As most Steemlords were already at the gathering site, Sir Jack arrived as usual right on time, when the brew was being handed out. Thanks to the generosity of Lordbmj there was ample brew for everyone.
ref: https://steemit.com/steemlords/@bmj/steemlords-lord-bmj-arrives-at-the-gathering-point
Low and behold, where there was free piss there was our Pommie counterpart, enjoying the good nature of us Criminalians. As expected no Britanian ever shouted a round, so Sir Jack joined the mob with which Lord Percy was with, watching the toxic fungi slowly spread across the poms face and taking every opportunity to “top up” Percy's glass with the “warm home made brew”. Learning a thing or two from the redcoats sir Jack had met along his crusades of yesteryear it was only appropriate that he use the Poms dirty tactics on this stuck up Britanian who so boldly speaks down upon all the folk who bonked their way through Britania through the ages.
What no body figured out there was how Lord Percy's pint was always topped up even after the last drops of piss were poured from the barrel of brew!
Hence ensuring that all Lords at the gathering were now keeping an eye on this redcoat among us who suspiciously had a never ending supply of the piss.
Sir jack, who has never been on such an endeavour before lay his blanket near the TeamAustralia camp, knowing full well that danger is always lurking.
Looking over all the SteemLords and learning the way of The SteemLords. Not rushing into anything, especially after almost having his eyebrows burned by the evil ring of fart fire cast upon him earlier along his path.
Sir Jack noticed that there was a unicorn next to one of our Criminalians, she was a young lass named ChooXena who also set her blanket so as to keep an eye on the Lord Pervy. Although she may seem to be a feeble little thing to ones eye, this showed to Sir Jack that she was no pushover. She knew very well who to look out for and was experienced in her ways as hanging up on a makeshift clothes line next to her was a pair of armoured fishnet yoga pants. Suggesting that she didn’t need any traditional weapons as she had been trained by the warriors from the east who used nothing but bare hands and feet to disable their enimies.
Only a few feet further from her was Gohba – The Loyal Blacksmith a tradesman who’s services Sir Jack was direly in need of, as the armour of SirJacks Crusader days was a tight fit after years of living a simple life with his wife and kinder.
Every so often Sir jack had to pull the chain mail out from between his ballsack and thigh and not to mention other places. Almost a wedgie like experience. Although Sir Jack may not have looked like his distant relative Conan the Barbarian any more, his Michelan Man like body of today would serve as a disguise, giving him the upper hand as his foes shall underestimate him.
As the darkness of night set in, Sir Jack lay his head upon his blanket, keeping one eye open and his browneye firmly against the boulder next to him as a precaution, for he knew where there were Village People among the redcoats.
To be continued.....