New Cowardonia is a dangerous place for a man of honour!
A short flight over the Narrow Sea on Tremendhorse brought Lord Percival to New Cowardonia a place where the concept of bravery and chivalry was lost on the locals.
For millennia conflict had raged on the continent and whenever a threat appeared the
FrenchCowardonians had capitulated and collaborated with their enemies. A land such as this was devoid of honour and Lord Percival was aware that the only person he could trust while in this strangely whiffy land was Sir Muxxy.
Having Sir Muxxy by his side was a comfort for Lord Percival has his effeminate persona would blend in well with the local whoopsies making reconnaissance easier. Lord Percival had been given valuable information and a contact in New Cowardonia by the oracle AncientMystique prior to leaving Shitlington Hall.
They decided to make camp and discuss the way forward. They needed a cunning plan to get to the rendezvous point. Sir Muxxy had fell off Dutch Pornstar on route and was wet and shivering with the cold, so they lit a fire to dry him out and cook their supper.
"Aren't you afraid the fire will attract local attention my Lord?" said Sir Muxxy.
"I fear nothing this land has to offer except the breath of the locals." Lord Percival replied. He continued.
"In fact we require local assistance in order to discover the location of our contact Madame Arly."
"Madame Arly, who's that?"
"Shh someone is coming!" Whispered Lord Percival.
Out of the shadows came a typical weasely Cowardonian, Lord Percival had smelt his presence before he emerged such was the pungent aroma eminating from the man.
"Stand still Peasant" demanded Lord Percival "Lest I run you through with my mighty sword."
"Identify yourself but keep your distance." Lord Percival continued dry wretching at the stink.
"I am Baldrique, man servant to Madame Arly. I have come to lead you to her chateau."
Baldrique seen here eating the World's largest garlic for breakfast.
Lord Percival considered the Cowardonian peasant.
"Lead the way man and hurry, I want to be there before darkness falls."
"This way Sire, follow me" said Baldrique.
"SIRE! SIRE!" roared Lord Percival. "I'M A BLOODY LORD YOU OIK!" he spat.
"I'm sor....". Baldrique started to speak however before his got the words out Lord Percival took it upon himself to give the Cowadonian a thrashing of magnificent proportions.
"My Lord, my Lord" screamed Sir Muxxy. "I fear you will kill the man."
"Very well, have you learned your lesson peasant?" said Lord Percival.
"Urgh, err yes my err Lord." quivered Baldrique through broken teeth.
"Then lead the way"
Baldrique limped around the corner to where his donkey 'Dungball' was tethered. Lord Percival and Sir Muxxy followed leading Tremendhorse and Dutch Pornstar to where the smelly and now bloodied Baldrique was preparing his donkey for the flight to Madame Arly's chateau.
"Follow me." shouted Baldrique as he took off into the darkening sky.
Sir Muxxy mounted Dutch Pornstar and followed, Lord Percival steadied Tremendhorse patted him behind the ear and galloped the fearless stallion down the beach and took off into the unknown.
The flight was uneventful apart from one incident in which Baldrique fell off Dungball when he passed out from delayed concussion of the brutal spanking recieved from Lord Percival. Right as darkness was on the cusp of enveloping the trio the abode of Madame Arly came into view.
The Fabulous 'Chateau de l'ours un.
The Chateau was magnificent, Lord Percival and Sir Muxxy stood in awe at the site of the home of the mysterious Madame Arly.
"Follow me please." said Baldrique
The two intrepid heroes followed the "stinky cheese eating surrender monkey" into the bowels of the Chateau.
After walking for what seemed like an eternity Lord Percival and Sir Muxxy entered 'The Great Hall'.
"Good evening Lord Percival." said Madame Arly.
Lord Percival and Sir Muxxy turned and laid eyes on the fair maiden. They were stunned.
The Gorgeous Cowardonian Madame Arly
Lord Percival grinned."Make yourself scarce Sir Muxxy, right now!"....
What will happen next?
Who is the mysterious Madame Arly?
What knowledge will she reveal to Lord Percival?
How did Sir Muxxy get through this episode without humiliation?
Will Lord Percival make up for his lack of romantic conquest in the next episode?
All will be revealed in the next episode of STEEMLORDS.
Don't ever forget.........
I AM LORD PERCIVAL THE MAGNIFICENT.
If you missed the first part of Lord Percival's quest click here
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