There are so many reasons why my wife is a superhero. Too many to count!
One of her superhero powers is being a mother. Over the next few days, I will share a few stories about how she made me a father.
Life Overseas
In 2005, my wife and I moved to Indonesia. We were young and looking for an adventure and opportunity to serve others. When we had a chance to work for/with an NGO we jumped on the opportunity.
Living overseas is tough. You have to deal with new languages, new cultures, and being different from the people you live among.
Being pregnant and living overseas is even more challenging.
- Smells made her sick. Trash and exotic fruits are just two of the things that made my wife's stomach turn.
- Trips in the car made her sick. The roads in the town where we lived were not as nice as the streets we were accustom to in the United States.
- Food made her sick. She could not eat much of anything, especially spicy Indonesian food. For the first trimester, she just ate toast and crackers.
- The smoke made her sick. Our island is known for wide spread burning. For several months, the smoky haze was visible in the air. And on one occasion I could not see the car from the front door (only about 20 feet away).
Despite the sickness and the cultural challenges, we felt blessed. We were excited, but we were nervous.
Our first child would be born in a foreign country.
Crisis Diverted
We meet another American couple in our city. They were expecting as well. The wife had experienced bleeding during her pregnancy and traveled to a larger city for treatment. This was a big deal because her blood type was negative and the husband's was positive.
Mothers who have Rh-negative blood produce an immune response after birthing an Rh-positive child. In subsequent pregnancies, Rh-positive fetuses are at risk for developing hemolytic disease of the fetus and newborn (HDFN), which can cause anemia, jaundice, and in severe cases, heart failure and possible brain damage.
Had we not heard about this at this very moment, the rest of our kiddos might not be the healthy and happy children that they are today.
Crisis diverted! We were able to find the right shots at the right time.
Visiting The Doctor
We made regular doctor visits to check the health of my wife and the life she was carrying.
Because of costs, we received several ultrasound images per visit. It only costs about $10 to visit the doctor. But because of the health care available in our city, we would need to find another hospital for the delivery.
My wife strongly desired to have a natural delivery. No drugs! No operation! Her heart was set on it, so we went to the capital city to find a doctor that supported our birthing plan.
Based on recommendations we visited a doctor who practiced at one of the nicest hospitals in the capital. Our meeting with him was pleasant. We felt like we communicated well with him (remember that these conversations are taking place in another language).
We returned back home and waited a few more months as our baby grew.
Leaving Home
Due to flying restrictions, my wife needed to be in the capital city 8 weeks before her due date. Fortunately we were both able to travel together. I was able to stay with my wife, which was a tremendous blessing.
We learned a new city together. And as the day approached, my wife grew more ready. She was ready to hold her first child. She was ready to be a mom. And I was excited to be her husband and the father of her children.
Not As Expected
The baby is now a few days late. We would soon learn that is the norm for our pregnancies.
We had visited the doctor a few more times, and had visited the hospital as well. We were ready. And it was time.
But labor was hard. My wife was in tremendous pain. The baby was posterior, meaning that she was facing up inside of down. This position caused extreme discomfort in my wife's back. Remember that she did not want any medication.
But labor turned into a long three hours process. My wife was tired, and the baby still was not coming out. The dreaded words came, "The baby is stressing."
This was our first child. We had never experienced anything like this before. We were navigating the situation in another language. And we were alone. No family. No friends. It was just me and my wife.
And all of those circumstances caused us to doubt. They caused us to make a rash decision. Per the doctors suggestion, we agreed to a C-section. That hurt my wife emotionally, but she wanted a healthy child.
Looking back, we feel that the doctor never wanted a natural birth. He seemed inconvenienced. He seemed frustrated. The way he proceeded left a bad taste in our mouths. We would never see him again after we left the hospital.
Soon after, I watch my exhausted wife have a brief moment with our baby. As per previous conversations, I left my wife (which was hard) so that I could keep an eye on the little one she just gave birth too.
I was proud. I was confused. And I was about to start a journey that I could not even imagine how great it would be.
And all of this happened because of my superhero wife. She made me a dad. She loved me as a husband. She has and continues to change my life.
More to come!
Sources:
- Information about HDFN was gathered from the following website: http://www.rhogam.com/faq/
- https://pixabay.com/en/baby-hand-infant-child-father-2416718/