Safespaces is one of the most contentious dividing terms in our culture.
It's basically large entity's (especially college campus') taking ownership for their students feelings. Which, that in and of itself is fine. They should be aware of the environment that their constituents are getting brainwashed in...for the most part.
The problem is their safe spaces are not actually safe. They are stagnant impotnent shields that people can run to and hide. You can hide there as long as long as you want...
and then what?
They have to go back to the big bad world...disagreement and offense is waiting to send you right back into your sterile environment of nothingness...
What if we put our kids in these safe spaces?
Kids are absolute jerks at school...yours probably are as well...my oldest boy is 8 and has found himself the brunt of several jokes at school. He has also been a jerk himself...Specifically, he would rather play in the dirt with bugs then play soccer...
so when he comes home and tells me about how kids made fun of him for being a 'whip'. So should i go and take him to a safe place?
I can make his bed up for him all comfy and soft. Give him some candy to eat, play soft music, and tell him that nobody can hurt him here....
hows that going to work out? I would probably build a timid, passive, insecure, raging kid whose body would grow and mind would not. He would eventually get access to social media and learn how to channel his rage while having the emotional capacity of a 8 year old.
Go find any 20 something thats been a consumer of 'safe spaces'. Hows there life going for them? Are they actually doing anything in society?
Safespaces are called relationships
If we really cared about people that are marginalized we wouldn't create a space for them that is stagnant and impotent shield from danger. We would actually step into their marginalization and provide real relationship, and real dialogue. Not coddling, caressing, everything will be okay relationship. But actual dialogue that people think different from then and thats okay. That some people do not understand their experiences, and hey maybe you do not understand where the perpetrators are coming from...
As a parent I will comfort my child. But I will not coddle my kid with artificial shields from the scary world. I will do my best to provide relationship with them. Through my proximity and dialogue I will enable my kids to be able to dialogue about their challenges, as well as take them on wholeheartedly.
A Few Tips To Teaching Your Kids Safespace
Find a Daily Hearttime - this is the time where your kid opens up. Maybe snuggling before bed, or right when they get home from school over a snack, or at the dinner table. The consistency of your presence will enable them to bring on their challenges before they become massive issues in their lives.
Tell them who they are. You are mom and dad. You want to let your 4 year old figure it out on their own? based on their own feelings? Good luck with that, if you do not do your job some friend, TV show, or teacher will tell them. They will be looking for affirmation and identity throughout their childhood. Give it to them.
Teach them what a friend is. Kids do not magically learn how to be great friends. When untaught they will learn from their interactions in elementary/middle school. Try and remember what your middle school friends were like...
I feel like our culture has missed a generation and delegated our parenting off to social media. I think the result is a powerless, insecure, confused generation still acting like kids. I do not want my kids or my kids generation to need 'safe spaces' I want them to be safe spaces.
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