There are phrases that we should not say to children for any reason "You are stupid", "if you are a fool", "leave me alone", "do not bother me". If you say those phrases to your child when he is angry with him, you must know that it can hurt you. Choose words carefully when communicating with a child, as it can affect him a lot.
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Many parents do not know how to control their emotional outbursts. They scream at their children, not realizing that such incidents can not only affect the education process, but also ruin their relationship with the child. When you learn to control your emotions, it will help you to face those situations easily and will make the atmosphere in the house more positive. Good parenting allows you to instill positive values in your child and prepare them for the future.
Consider some phrases you never need to tell your children. If you stop using these phrases, you can communicate with them in a positive way, without hurting them.
1. "Honey, do not be sad"
When you deny your child's feelings and emotions, you can embarrass him. When a child is upset, do not try to suppress their emotions, saying phrases like "do not cry" or "do not bother". This will impede its development and will cause problems in the future. When you tell your child not to cry, not to be sad or not to worry, it will not save you from negative feelings. He will be upset or worried even more.
For example, when he tells a child not to worry in the first days of school, he begins to worry even more. And if he does not understand and asks him to suppress his feelings, he may be afraid, thinking that some emotions are unacceptable or shameful, and should be suppressed. Ultimately, this can negatively affect your emotional well-being.
What to do
- Try to calm the child: "I see that you are worried. Can you tell me exactly what is bothering you? The fact that you sympathize with the child will calm him down and help him talk about his emotions without fear. *
2. "Do not do it!"
This seemingly innocuous phrase can be interpreted by your child in a very different way. If he tells his son not to do something, he will do everything he can to show that he can do it.What to do
If you want the child not to do something, explain the real reason for this. For example, if you try to touch an outlet or jump on a bookshelf, instead of yelling: ** "Do not do it!", ** Tell him it is dangerous and that he may suffer.3. "If you do it again ..."
Applying threats to keep a child in order is not effective. Threats make a child afraid of you, but not respect. Sometimes the parents are so angry with the child that they shout at him: "If you do not go out to dinner at this moment, I will throw you out of the house". But will you really do it? No Therefore, threats are difficult to implement or impractical. In addition, the child may stop believing his words, and the next time he threatens it, he will not take his words seriously.
What to do
Instead of threatening the child, give him a choice. At the same time, tell him what the consequences are for him for wrong actions. You can limit the child in what he really loves. For example, if you like computer games, do not let him play until he promises to behave properly and does not keep his word. You can warn a child this way: ** "If you do this, you will not be able to play computer games for the next two days" **.4. "You're well done, good job ..."
Everyone knows that praise and acquaintances develop self-confidence in the child and increase their self-esteem. But if you praise him for every little thing, praise will lose its meaning. You can also prevent the child from trying new things: he will be afraid of not meeting his expectations. Finally, after frequent praise from the parents, the child expects the same from other people. Without receiving it, you may feel angry and frustrated.What to do
Pay more attention to the general development of the child, rather than the achievement of the objectives. Praise him only for those actions that required a real effort from him. For example, if you painted a beautiful drawing, instead of saying: ** "Good job!" **, Emphasize exactly what you liked in the drawing (bright colors, exactly the objects represented, etc.).5. "I would like you to be like ..."
Each child is special and has its own unique characteristics. But, comparing it with brothers, sisters, partners or other children, you ask it to become different. The comparison can make a child feel less well than another child. He may think that you do not appreciate him, no matter what he does. In addition, comparing a child with brothers or sisters increases the rivalry between them.What to do
Accept the child for what he is, appreciate his individuality and uniqueness. Explain what behavior is right and what is wrong: so that the child learns to make independent decisions. Encourage your desire to follow your own goals and interests, and not repeat after others.6. "Leave me alone!"
Sometimes we say those words, feeling frustrated. But this phrase can hurt the child and make him feel unnecessary.
When we say to a child: ** "Leave me alone" ** or ** "Do not make me angry" **, we show that we do not have time to do it. This can make you think that it does not make sense to talk to you and, in the end, ruin your relationship.
What to do
Parents need time for themselves. Tell the child openly about his feelings. The child still can not understand if you are busy, experiencing stress or if your misbehavior is really so serious. If you are busy, tell the child that you first need to do important work, and then you can play with him or go for a walk. Until then, have the child read a book or play.
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Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://deisip67.vornix.blog/2019/04/03/school-for-parents-phrases-that-can-not-be-told-to-a-child/