Today’s discuss takes us to Jealousy. Jealousy is one of the few things that frustrate a relationship. Depending on how your type of jealousy, your relationship can last or end abruptly. Why is the discussion of jealousy important?
A young man saw his girlfriend talking with another young man freely. He could see her smiling with this young man something she had reduced when with him. ‘Maybe it is this guy’s influence that is making my girlfriend act up’ was what was running through his head. He then moved to face this guy to show that the young man was trespassing on his territory. He shoved his girlfriend to one side when she tried talking to him about the issue.
A young lady sees her boyfriend talking to another lady. She could see he is enjoying her company, smiling, maintaining eye contact while they spoke to themselves. The lady pulls her hair back while the young man was talking to her and she thinks ‘is she trying to seduce my boyfriend?’ She walks up to the table to challenge the lady who is trying to steal her man from her. She angrily lashes out at this lady calling her names for her attempted snatching.
These two examples show a little of what jealousy can cause. Some people love the saying ‘LOVE IS BLIND’. Well to a degree, I don’t completely agree with that. I see love as NOT BLIND. Love is seeing the flaws of someone and choosing to overlook it and choose to look at the person’s strengths. Jealousy on the other hand is what I see as blind. Jealousy sees things that aren’t happening.
Jealousy is born out of fear. Fear of losing the partner to another person. This fear then promotes other emotions like Anger, Hatred, sometimes and Disgust (of self and others). This can also lead to suspicion of partner, rage, possessiveness. This jealousy can make someone lash out or react violently like we see in the two examples. There are two types of jealousy. Proper and Improper jealousy.
Proper Jealousy: This is where you look out to give your partner attention. This is one born with the need to protect your partner from the schemes of other men or ladies. This kind of jealousy is good as it helps the relationship to be stronger.
Improper Jealousy: This one on the other hand is born out of insecurity. The feeling of being scared that your partner might leave you for someone else. This the one that leads to those two examples cited earlier.
HOW TO REDUCE IMPROPER JEALOUSY
The subtopic is not hoe to stop jealousy because we all get jealous, either very much or a little. Some people just find a way to control that emotion that causes it. So what are ways to reduce jealousy?
Trust: Giving your partner a measure of trust is the first thing to do. You always need to give your partner the benefit of doubt in most cases. Always look at it that your partner won’t do this. Giving this measure of trust would make your relationship better and would make life easier for you.
Don’t make your partner jealous of you: Moving with another female/male trying to make your partner know how appreciated you are wont do good. It may backfire. A partner who sees the man/lady being appreciated by others may want to be appreciated by someone too. You not being there gives room for someone to fill that space. When you find out, you know how anger would creep up in you.
Stop imagining things beyond its happenings: the moment you see things that are not happening, jealousy has kicked in. and it will keep blinding you till problem ensues. You won’t be able to see the good things the partner is doing, instead you start suspecting your partner.
Give Freedom: Be willing to give your partner more freedom. A tight relationship is frustrating. You can allow your partner do things more freely and you’ll get to enjoy your relationship.
Prepare yourself: To prepare yourself to lose them, the fear of losing them decreases, thus jealousy. This may also be dangerous as some people get to feel too secure that they no longer care if the relationship ends or not. It shouldn’t get to that point. You should always show love.
Being jealous can hinder a relationship from moving forward. Why not implement the proper type of jealousy and try to negate this improper form of jealousy.