Emotional Intelligence: what is our role as individuals?

Writing about this topic makes it so tempting to digress and go into other issues apart from what I have being given to examine and which i would call 'self improvement' by the student.

On this subject, I have done extensive research and have dealt with the basics of emotional intelligence and sometimes called 'emotional quotient' (EQ) or Emotional intelligence quotient (EIQ)

Therefore, i would advice that before you proceed further, kindly take time to read through this article, It will be of immense benefit to you.

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On this note, I am tempted to summarize the signs/ qualities of an high EQ as follows

1. Emotional intelligence: People with high emotional intelligence usually possess the following abilities to an high degree

2. Self-Awareness: People who are self aware understand their emotions, they don't let their feelings rule them, they are confident and they don't let their emotions get out of control.

3. Self regulation: People with self regulation have the ability to control their emotions impulses. They don't make impulsive decisions. They think before they act, they are comfortable with change and they have the ability to say no.

4. Motivation: Motivated people usually have high emotional intelligence. They love challenges, they love what they do.

5. Empathy: People with empathy can identify with and understand their wants, needs and viewpoint of those around them. They are good at recognising the feelings of other even when it is not so obvious. They are good at listening, they are not quick to judge people or place them in a stereotype. They live life in an honest open way.

6. Good Social Skills: They effectively manage disputes, they communicate well and they are masters at building and maintain relationships.

Now that i have identified the points which I must say are not the exhaustive description of what enhances emotional intelligence. There are other points but the above are the most common and more identifiable.

It is now time as a student to go through each of the points and ask yourself very cogent and straightforward questions. By the time you are through you must be able to notice some areas in which you have fallen below standard.

There are also test and quiz available online with which you can assess yourself. Now the salient question 'what can you do?'

I must say with all sense of importance that improving your level of emotional intelligence is not a day's job, neither will it become very evident in less than a week, it may take months so I suggest you create a quarterly review of your progress.

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You can start with the following steps;

i. Observe how you react to people, don't rush to judgment before you know the facts, be more open to accepting other people's perspectives and needs.

ii. Observe your environment, do not be in a hurry to seek attention for your accomplishments. This may be much more difficult especially if you work very hard. Practice humility, it does not mean shyness or lack of self confidence. Help to bring others up, lend a helping hand, give others a chance to shine.

iii. Do self evaluation. Identify your weaknesses, accept that you are not perfect and believe you can work on some areas to make yourself a better person. Have the courage to look at yourself honestly.

iv. Take responsibility for your actions and examine how you react to stressful situations.

It is a gradual process, like I said earlier, take stock like every 3 months and check to see if you have made progress and ask people that can tell you the truth.

v. Be ready to take criticism, some people cannot stand to be criticised even when the observation is cogent or realistic, they most times become defensive and insultive.

vi. Consult and read books on personal development, leadership and service.

I will recommend a classical book for you, it is Dale Carnegie's best seller; How to win friends and influence people.

I read it several times and it changed my life, along with other books it helped to structure the personality that I have today and I am working on, because it is only the dead that stop growing, evolving or getting better.

In conclusion

I will suggest that you create a timeline for yourself like the one we find on some social media platforms, be certain about the kind of person you want to become, day after day, record your progress, challenges, pitfalls, accomplishments and do not lose focus of the dream person you want to be.

I will leave this word with you, you are responsible for your success and failure primarily, so take it as a personal duty you want to achieve. You can not feature in a future that you can not picture.

Thank you for reading.