My best friend's love-life is presently heading for the rocks, almost at the speed of light. For some time now, together with his girlfriend, they have severally attempted to salvage what is left of a once healthy relationship.But that doesn't seem to be working. If anything, the situation appears to be slipping from bad to worse gradually.
So, what is it that could possibly be responsible for this bad phase or better yet, the bad run of form of my friend's romance life? Your answer is a phenomenon known as phubbing. Phubbing? Yes of course. Phubbing is the cause of my friend's woes. The term might probably come across as a new one to some of us. If that's the case for you, then not too worry, as this blog post will address all that you need to know about phubbing.
WHAT IS PHUBBING ?
So without further ado, let's jump right into it. If you choose to define phubbing as "cheating on one's partner, fiance, fiancee, spouse, friends, family and colleagues, with a mobile phone , then you won't be wrong.
But putting it more correctly, phubbing is the act of a person choosing to interact with their phone or other mobile digital devices, rather than human beings present in their immediate space. It involves the practice of sharing of one's time and attention digitally, especially over the web, with people who are possibly millions of miles away. While yet attempting to be physically present, but ignoring the people around you.
Phubbing is a term that is derived from the clipping and blending of two different words: phone and snubbing. The letters "ph"and "ubbing" are
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clipped and blended together to give us a brand new term known as "phubbing", which in addition, implies the behavior of snubbing someone with your phone.
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE A VICTIM OF PHUBBING ?
Nobody wants to be snubbed. Let alone being phubbed in favor of a mere phone. When a loved one or even just a friend phubs or phubbing you, the following things happen:
they appear less present to you.
you feel unseen, because they have put their attention is somewhere else.
you feel unheard.
you feel abandoned.
you feel frustrated, angry, and most likely pick up with a big fight.
EFFECTS OF PHUBBING.
Having established that nobody enjoys being phubbed, the practice often lead phubbers to ignore the most important set of persons in their lives. Consequently, they then begin to relegate their lovers, wives, husbands, kids, friends, family, and colleagues to the background, in favor of their phones.
And as a result, many beautiful family dinners, intimate lovers' night out, college graduates and workers reunions, etc, have all been badly ruined by phubbing. Where one, two, three or More participants in those events, not only constantly continues to steal glances at their phones, looking out for notifications,but also are lightly or deeply engaged in texting, sexting, emailing, tweeting, chatting, snapchatting, Facebooking, Instagraming, youtubing and so on. The list is endless. Leading the sufferers or victims to a more severe level of depression. Evidently, phubbing is bad for everyone.
SIGNALS THAT YOUR PARTNER MAY BE PHUBBING ON YOU.
If you are unsure as to whether or not your partner is cheating on you with their phones, then providing answers to the questions below might just help:
Does your partner keep their phones somewhere handy so they can quickly grab it at the slightest sound of notifications.
When there's a lull in your conversation, do they just pick their phones and hit the web/social media sites, to catch some excitements.
Do they pull out of conversations or your arms, whenever their phones beeps or rings.
Do they consistently steal glances at their phones when talking with you.
When they run out of data subscription, do they suddenly feel that the world is grinding to a halt, experiencing panic attacks, phobias and allegies, because they are offline for some minutes or hours.
If your discovery from the "Q & A" session above raises a red flag leaving you freaking out on your partner,please don't be tempted to further go down that route with them. Rather, see to it that you help him/her with the measures I have outlined below.
SOLUTION TO PHUBBING.
Declare a device-free time: Through mutual understanding and agreement, kindly declare periods of romantic dinner, family dinner, final hours before bed, conversation time, family TV/movie time, quite or yoga time, as well as prayer time, all device-free. Let all put out or put off if possible.
Disable non-essential notifications: Reduce the rate at which you or your partner are glued to your phone, by deactivating all notifications from all social media sites. Think of it this way, If you do not immediately respond when someone likes your photos on Facebook or Instagram, no one will drop dead.
Lol 😀Delete all unproductive apps: There are many apps that add little or no value to our lives, yet we download them all the same. So now's the time to uninstall them all. This helps us to focus our attention and socially bond with the people that matter most to us.
Keep the phones out of sight: The use of phones can get really addictive. Especially the smart ones. Hence, discipline is needed to help keep them out of sight for some time. Leave all mobile devices in another room and respond to all who contacted you at a later on, if that works for you.
Wanting to see, open and scroll through notifications is where the real temptation lies. So do your best to get yourself and your partner to rely less on technology. And begin connecting more socially, to reap the abundant benefits of one-on-one, face-to-face human interactions.
References
*https://www.techopedia.com/definition/29613/phubbing
*https://www.digitalcare.org/how-to-avoid-phubbing/
*https://blog.sanebox.com/2016/06/23/phubbing-phone-snubbing-career-relationships/amp/