Not so long ago, in a galaxy much too close for comfort, a Writers’ Block project called “Steem Wars” launched to mediocre fanfare and many nervous giggles. Within seconds of the opening announcement, crews began to scramble. Voyagers from all corners of the galaxy snuffled to alert, blew dust off their flux capacitors or whatever hoodingle they use to power space travel, and reported for duty.
Captain Constants Trickle was no different. Well, that’s a lie. Capn Trickle is about as “different” as they come, and that’s actually a euphemism. Better words might be “odd,” or “bizarre,” or even “batshit crazy,” but we won’t go there. Wait—we just did.
Moving right along – we’ll join Capn Trickle as she hearkens to the call of Dr. Muxx. Let the games begin!
Journal Entry 35-2.06182 transcribed/edited
TRICKLE
Can this damn thing go any faster? You sure you got the warp capacitor tuned right?
FIXIT:
Everything is perfect. If you keep whipping her, she’ll break.
TRICKLE:
You haven’t seen a whipping yet.
FIXIT:
Oh—so that’s why you’re in such a hurry to get that Dakota dude.
TRICKLE:
That fat ass? The only whipping he needs is into shape.
FIXIT:
You’ve seen him before?
TRICKLE:
No, but I’ve heard.
FIXIT:
It’s rude to call people fat.
TRICKLE:
Only if skinny bitches like you do it.
FIXIT:
Maybe he’s not fat. Maybe he’s just beefy.
TRICKLE:
More like he had one side of beef too many.
FIXIT:
I think we’re coming up on Laegur. Just got a ping for us to I.D.
TRICKLE:
What the holy fucking hell is that?
FIXIT:
A ping for I.D.? It’s an automated scan of our—
TRICKLE:
Not that you nitwit. That. Out the viewport.
FIXIT:
Oooooh….
TRICKLE:
It looks like a…disco ball?
FIXIT:
Look at all the colored lights! Are those lasers? And strobes?
TRICKLE:
Is that…? Is that a Maverick Class? There in dock? Katle’a flies the only Mav I’ve ever seen. She’s going to be pissed somebody else is wearing it better.
FIXIT:
Uh…that is the Princess. That’s her Mav. See? We got a pingback on the I.D.
TRICKLE:
Can’t be. She was headed for Whoopee Cushion, or whatever it was. The space station.
FIXIT:
That is a space station. See the pingback? Waiting on I.D. now—oh, dear.
TRICKLE:
Oh dear, what?
FIXIT:
It’s identifying as Whoopass 5.
silence
FIXIT:
Switching external cameras—different view—yeah. Whoopass 5 is in geostationary orbit around Laegur.
silence
FIXIT:
Captain?
TRICKLE:
MUXXY!!!!!!!!!
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