Yesterday I made a plate of pasta with marjuana, pesto and extra-virgin olive oil.
A nice one.
Then I was tripping. I blew wind in my face with the fan and felt like flying.
I pretended to use my balloon compressor against my friend.
Then I wrote this. No edit. I don't even want to re-read it.
I think I was sitting on the sofa for hours while writing it.
Things are very difficoult to feel and far away.
I am sitting on a vortex that is sucking me down in to the abysses, very deep and scary in the middle of my sofa. My belly is round like the moon and my face feels like a brick.
I’m salivating but I don’t want to spit, then I would have to clean.
I put on some Euro trash music from the 90, exactly this one
It’s overwhelming. A lot of hammers and my brain is exploding out of my head. My skull will be broken and I couldn’t not stick it with a glue like I used to do it, when I wished to be a nurse.
It feels so cold inside this room. It is cold in the desert in Afghanistan. I wanna eat that sand flying to my mouth and I want to die suffocated by it. Tack. Just a second and it’s done.
It is like running in a forest dark wintery, and you run and run and run with everything open, mouth, arms, legs! You run nodding your head right and left, like a little Indian child. You would run in such a weird way that you would look a bit of a mongoloid.
You would run like you wanted to belong to everywhere, you wanted to be earth, mud and bodily liquid. You would run like you wanted to love everyone and you would kiss leaves, mosquitos and all the horrible living beings in the forest. What an atrocity!
Ohhhhhhhhhh
And then ops! A swarm of bees in your mouth, like a punch of sand straight in your throat.
Now I know that all this sounds dark, but focus on the word swarm.
I didn’t know this word in English. I had to go on fucking google translator to discover that sciame in English is swarm.
And meanwhile the Eurotrash music from the 90’roll on. Bloody youtube, bloody capitalism.
There is a beer here and I don’t know if I should open it or not.
Oh, fuck that, I’ll open it.
It is difficoult. I think 10 minutes have passed and I didn’t open any beer. I feel like a spider living in a world for humans. A spider that can’t open his cupboard because doesn’t have hands. A spider that can’t wear human clothes, because they are too small for him. A spider that is too big for everything around him. Like that story of the fly or like the book The metamorphosis, by Kafka.
Now, I am still trying to focus on each single thought: I have to open the beer, I have to open the beer, I have to open the beer. If I focus for long enough, I can be like a super hero, and tatataaaa, save the situation.
Now, let’s not change tab and write down this fucking piece of steemit shit. I can’t. I just can’t. I think the idea to open a bottle of beer is too difficoult right now. How is this thing done?
And can you imagine if the entire concept to open a bottle of beer, IF this makes me roll around so much, what can happen if I decide to finally drink the fucking beer?
Can you imagine? No, do it Sandra. Just fucking do it. You are salivating. You need to drink beer. You need to drink THAT BEER.
I think around 5 and 15 minutes have gone, and I am still on the sofa, trying to open the bottle of beer.
I couldn’t open the bottle. I have no bottle opener. I tried with the technique of the spoon and the other one of the lighter and it didn’t work. I am so in-human.
I went to knock at the door of 3 neighbors. Nobody replied. I run back to my place and go back to write.
Enough is enough. I have to go out and buy a bottle of beer, in a bar, with people. And make an effort to talk.
Now take a selfie with THAT beer
I would never expected the toothbrush tasted so good. I would never expected this song popping up. I would never expected acidity of stomach.
I didn’t realized that I left the main door of my flat open. I didn’t realize I was wearing 2 different pair of shoes.
The power by the Snap! Is Rocking and I am trying to get out of my flat and go in a fucking bar to drink a beautiful beer.
Seriously.
I can’t believe I manage to brush my teeth, do make up and take a selfie.
Kisseeeeeeeeeeeees :*
