"My eldest daughter told me recently: "When I was little, I was always afraid that you will divorce. But when I turned 12, I decided that maybe it's best that you always argue!”. Smiling, he added: "I am happy that still you to reconcile."
I was constantly fighting with my wife for many years. In the past, I can't understand how we decided to marry: our characters did not fit. And the more time went, the more obvious became the gap between us. Wealth and fame has not made our lives easier. On the contrary, the problems were multiplied. We began to argue with him so often that it was impossible to imagine life together quietly.
I was on a business trip, when the last drop had filled the Cup. We certasem on the phone, and suddenly she told me-put the phone down. I felt hatred, helplessness and loneliness. Then I realized that we had reached the limit – not the suffering of this life.
I'm in the shower and finally to God, telling him that this marriage is a mistake and that could live on. The idea of divorce was just terrible, but the pain of such a life left me exhausted. In addition to the hate I feel, I got confused. I don't understand why is it so difficult together. Deep down knew that my wife is a good woman. And I'm a good person. What we cannot understand? Why I married a woman whose character is not the same as mine? Why didn't he want to change?
In the end, destroyed and tired, I put, and I started to cry. Out of the darkness of despair came the revelation: I can't exchange it. I can only change me.
The next day, at the door waiting for me wife is cold, he did not even look at me when I entered the house. That night, being so close and yet so far from each other, I realized I needed to do.
The next morning I went back to her and I asked her:
– What can I do to make my life more beautiful?
He looked cheerful.
What?
– How can I make my life more beautiful?
– Certainly. Why are you even asking?
– Because I say so seriously, I said. I just want to know how I can make your day more beautiful.
He looked cynical:
– You want to do something? Well, then remove everything to the kitchen.
Probably thought I was going to explode. But I nodded. ”Good.”
I stood up and I removed everything in the kitchen.
The next day I asked again:
– How can I make your day beautiful?
– Make clean in the garage.
I pulled the air deep in the chest. I did a lot of things that day, and I knew what I said, intentionally doing this to get me out of threads. I wanted to tell him.
But I said, "okay." I got up and-p for the next two hours I cleaned and tidied the garage. Didn't know what to say.
Next morning:
– How can I make your day beautiful?
– You can't! She said. You can't do anything. Please, finish this.
I said I can't and I promised.
– How can I make your day beautiful?
– Why are you doing this?
– Because they lead to you. And in our marriage.
The next morning I asked her again. And another. And the one that followed. And then, in the middle of the second week, a miracle happened. Hearing my question, her eyes were full of tears and wept. After he quietly said to me:
– Please stop if I ask it. The problem is not you, it's me. I know I'm a complicated man. I don't understand why you still here.
I grabbed her slowly, chin, looked into my eyes.
– Because I love you. I said I was. How to make your day beautiful?
– I need to ask is, ' he replied.
– Should, but not now. Now I want to exchange. You must know how much for me.
And left the head on my chest, asking for forgiveness for the behavior of ugly.
– I love you, I I said.
And I love you, ' he replied.
I kept asking her during the month. And our relationship has changed. Quarrels ceased. Then he started asking me questions, she said, "What you want to do? How can I become a better wife?”.
The wall between us disappeared. I began to talk, openly and honestly, about expectations that we have in life and how we could make each other happier. No, no, I decided suddenly our problems. Can't say that we are not abused ever. But as we began to argue with him has changed. I do it rarely, like I had negative energy of the past. I never wanted us to each other.
Over time, I realize that our history was drawing lessons is very important for people who are married. The question is ”How do you make your life more beautiful?”, should be addressed to all those involved in the relationship. This is true love.
True love is not passion for someone, and the desire to make their lives more beautiful – sometimes even to the detriment of own life. True love lies not in the formation of your partner and turning it into a copy of their own, but also in improving their own capabilities, a demonstration of patience and care of a loved one.
I don't want to say that this method will work for every couple. Not even sure that all couples who are on the verge of divorce needs to save his marriage. But I am very grateful for the inspiration that came to me in that day, to this question. I am grateful that until now I have family and my girlfriend wakes up every morning next to me.
I am happy that ten years later, one of us turns to another and asks him: ”How can I make your day beautiful?”. To do this is to Wake up in the morning.