Explicit Language
I just lay in my bed, stand in the shower, go to work always thinking...
She's not with me. So, where is she?
She's probably out meeting people with her stupid smile, and her bubbly personality.
She's probably out there just saying, "Hi there" surprising people with random stupid conversation like she used to.
I'm sure that there are guys out there seeing her there all alone, smiling and talking.
And I'm sure that she has become their target of lust.
She doesn't see herself like people see her.
They see her confidence in her smile.
They see her strength in her stance.
They hear her intelligence in her voice.
They imagine her given figure without the clothes.
And to them she becomes just another number on their list of girls.
She just becomes another random hookup.
A part of their game.
A part of their ego.
They will just leave her alone, which she deserves because she left me.
She left me here.
And she didn't even leave me alone.
She left me with her shadow, her minion, her miniature twin.
On the days that our daughter is with me, all I see is her face.
I see all of the things she said I did wrong.
I see all of the things she won't admit she did wrong.
I see our 9 years together.
I see our laughs.
Our hugs.
Our demise.
On the days that our daughter is with you, all I think of is you two.
Probably having a great day together.
She's learning new things with you.
Having new experiences with you.
On those days I'm here drowning in sorrow, she... she is out there doing whatever she wants to make her happy, which wasn't me.
I can't help but need to text her, but I have one hour worth of circling thoughts and I text:
"
Where are you?
Are you with someone?
You don't understand people. You're probably out there just saying hi to whoever the fuck you want. All these guys are probably just coming up to you and talking to you. Putting their hands on you. And it pisses me off that I have to think about this all the time because I am not there.
No response? Really?
"
Where is she?