My mind is stupid...
When I wake up in the morning it's there. It feels like it has been locked in a cage for hours, just ready to go crazy at me. When I wake up, the cage is unlocked and out jump this crazy monkey. Not a calm monkey. Not a friendly monkey, but a remorseless one. It takes him about 30 seconds to get warm. 30 seconds, that's all. Then he wants to convince me how tough life is, how stuck I am in life, how this day is reaaally gonna be a drag. But I will not let him take control of me.
My mind is stupid...
Normally he continues throughout the day. Sometimes less active and sometimes more. In this case, the less is better. It has been a long time since he tried to convince me something positive, or good. Today he told me wheather is good, but come on. I don't my mind to judge that. I can see and feel that all by myself. Even though the wheather is great, I have no problems, I am feeling fine, he always come up with a reason to feel worse. But I will not let him take control of me.
My mind is stupid...
When the day is almost over, he becomes more tired. I guess. I don't really know. All I know is that his impact on me tends to decrease. Like somebody turned down the volume. I think he is just taking a rest. While he is having a rest, I will normally play some guitar, write or draw. It is the only time of the day I can do this, without his judgement. Or maybe, he is more quiet because I play, because I draw, because I am living. Maybe not. I don't know. Well. Sometimes he will show up. Telling me the drawing looks like shit. But I will not let him control me. Time for bed.
He is so stupid...
HAHA! Can you believe it? I am this stupid chatter in his head, and he believes or at least react to everything I say? HAHAHA He is so stupid. I don't even exist. I am like a magic trick. Going on, and on, and on, and on. I can't wait till he is in bed. I love the time before sleeping. I can literally have him wide awake for more than an hour! HAHAHA! Stupid man! My record is two hours and 23 minutes. Amazing right? Sometimes he dosn't listen though..That annoys me! When he is playing that stupid guitar, I am no power, and I feel like I dissapear. But who cares. I was never here. He is so stupid.
