"I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then" -Alice ( Wonderland 5.2-3, by Lewis Carroll)
My Seat at the Tea Party
If you’ve ever read the Adventures of Alice in Wonderland, you are familiar with the chapter of Alice’s encounter with the Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and Dormouse having probably one of the most nonsensical tea times anyone could possibly imagine - except that is the closest analogy I could ever give to my battle with anti-nmda autoimmune encephalitis. From the bits that I remember, most of my time was spent in a world where the normal rules did not apply, where up was down, and sometimes also left and right.
Like Alice, I was told there wasn’t room for me at the table. Like Alice, I sat down anyway. Not of my own accord of course, but because I didn’t have another choice. Fortunately, I found my way out - twice.
It has been a number of years since I sat down at that table, but some of these memories don’t fade. There are other memories that I don’t remember and are tales told to me by family. Here I’ll try to piece them together; maybe it will be of help to others, victims and families, sort through their trials and to know that when you emerge from the rabbit hole, love and laughter really are the best medicine.
I suspect this writing will take a long time, it's hard to pick out the truths from the fantasy. Sometimes the memories are as fleeting as the Cheshire cat - only to be remembered at a later date, or not at all.