“Bradley is asleep on a bench in the market Bing Bing, how about you? Tired? I will be alright here, I am just going to wait for Brendalyn to pick me up, sleep if you are tired mate, its all good.”
“No way” says Bing Bing, “I am going to hang with you, I have some cigarettes, want one?”
It was almost morning, quiet and still, no one around, we sit in darkness, on a length of coco lumber, against the wall of a closed store and i accept his cigarette.
In the silence, my head was spinning out of control, what does this mean, how will I………..I try to stop the thoughts.
I break the silence quietly.
“Bing this is really fucked up! Exactly what is it that I have done and to whom? Tell me? If I drive down the road on the wrong side, cause an accident and people get hurt, I can process it. I did the wrong thing, I caused the crash, it’s my fault, I get it, that makes sense, but this Bing, this is fucked up!”
We return to silence, and stare towards the dimly lit market and the ocean beyond.
“Drew you are going to have to keep on going, can’t let this bring you down, move on quickly, keep stepping Drew”
“Bing, I have nothing in Australia, no car, no house, no fucking nothing! What is the point? After all this shit, I will end up in a place I do not want to be and I will have nothing! May as well just fucking give up! There’s nothing there for me!”
Still whispering, “You can’t give up!”
“Why?”
“Too many people here have been helping you! We know your situation! What’s your plan go home and jump off a bridge? No! No way, no surrender Drew, you gotta keep stepping. Just remember that for me! Keep on stepping!
It’s awkward, heavy in emotion, the humid air still, and thick, really thick. My mind is racing trying to process it all.
Lately I have been thinking - perhaps I am going absolutely crazy! Fuck, the gossip is right, I have lost the plot, I am a dead set twisted head case, frazzled on drugs and none of it happened! How can I ever begin to explain to others, Fuck! And expect them to believe me!
“Bing Bing, did this happen or I am completely fucking crazy!”
Slowly and thoughtfully he whispered, Drew you are not crazy. This happened. You are not crazy! He then put his head in hands and for a rare moment showed his unguarded emotion.
“Bing, You and Brad are my hero’s, always will be!”
Regaining his composure and with my eyes wet, he said, “C’mon lets go I have a clean shirt for you, lets check if its dry, Brendalyn will be here soon.”