Unproven Chapter Sixty Two "Know Thyself"

They were sitting at their usual table in the senior lounge; but without Grayson- who was currently getting settled in a hotel somewhere in Paris- Ary felt like an intruder. She forced herself to smile without looking up from her sandwich, "Hell yeah we are."

"You have forgiven me right?" Dori asked, worry lacing her tone.

Ary glanced at her, "Of course. It's my fault you even knew about it."

Dori looked away, the now-purple tips on her bleached blonde hair catching the light and making it appear she had jewels dangling from her head. "Yeah, but you trusted me to keep it to myself."

Ary squeezed Dori's knee to reassure her. "It's okay, I know what it's like to get caught up in the heat of the moment when you're angry and upset." She recalled the ugly argument she'd had with Andie at her house and winced. "You had better reasons for what you did than I generally do."

Dori tilted her head and smiled slightly, "Thanks. I still feel like shit."

Ary sighed, "Don't."

Dori nodded, but there was a peculiar expression on her face. Guilt with the need to confess something.

Ary cocked her head to the side and arched an eyebrow at the girl. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just...You are such a great friend. It's rare, you know?"

Ary smiled sadly. "Yeah, I know." She looked across the room at Andie and Sonya. They were currently laughing with Grant and his friends, and though they were only a few dozen feet from her they may as well have been a million miles away. She felt her eyes begin to burn and turned away.

This time it was Dori who squeezed her knee. "They'll get over it."

Ary sighed again. She was getting sick of that particular sentiment, Gray used it enough. She thought about the backpack resting near her feet. It contained a couple of books not on the school curriculum- the gifts she'd made for them. Each one contained an apology letter on the final page just beneath the Christmas cards. It was the last week of school before the holiday break, so she’d either have to work up the courage to hand them over or she'd be working up the courage to stop by their houses.

"So you miss your boy?"

She turned her head to look at the source of the question, inwardly wincing. The last thing she needed was for Mark to act chummy with her.

"Of course she does," Dori answered for her, "and he misses her too if the bazillion texts he's sent her in the last day is any indication."

"Well, from what I've heard about her skills in the sack I'm sure he does miss her," Mark leered.

"Ugh, seriously Mark?" Dori made a face, "I was just starting to like you again, don't change my mind."

Mark smirked, "You couldn't give two shits about the little whore I was banging. Whatever your bitch fest was about, she wasn't it. I'm thinking PMS."

Ary leaned toward him before Dori could respond and hissed, "You have serious fucking nerve throwing names around, Sonya is a sweetheart whose hand you weren't fit to hold! If you ever call her a whore again, or even mention her in my presence I will punch you in your idiot mouth, is that clear?"

"Oh ho!" Gary butted in with a laugh, "I would love to see that little girl!"

"She is a bit of a whore," Brooke interjected, flipping her dark hair over her shoulder, "from what I've heard every dick at this table has been in her mouth."

Ary narrowed her eyes on the girl, "Well, from what I've heard every dick at this table has been in every one of your holes, so I guess that's true too, huh?"

"Excuse me? Who the hell is saying that?" Brooke snapped.

Dori burst out laughing.

"You're saying that Chandler? Seriously?" Brooke demanded.

"Hell no," Dori snickered, "but you of all people should know that rumors are generally bullshit since you start most of them."

"Generally maybe, but I know my dick was in the little slut's mouth," Gary stated with a smirk.

"Stop it!" Ary shouted, "One more word from any of you...”

"And what?" Gary challenged, "What will you do? Grayson's not here to back you up and there's nothing guaranteeing he'll support you when he returns. It's far more likely he'll drop you again. I've heard all about those European chics, and they are some serious freaks. He'll probably get a taste of that and think your bedroom skills are baby shit in comparison. Way I see it, you'll be the next slut we discuss at this table."

"Fuck yeah dude!" Mark fist bumped him.

Ary glared at them for a moment before dropping her eyes.

"That's what I thought," Gary laughed.

"Laugh it up Winters." Dori smiled thinly and pressed playback on her phone. His voice rang out clear from the speaker beginning with his comment about Sonya. She let them listen for a second before pushing stop. "I say your conclusion is way off the mark, the only thing that's gonna happen when he gets back is a couple of serious ass-kickings."

Ary cast her a grateful look, though she couldn't help but wonder whether Gary was right. She'd been sitting there thinking about how shallow they were, Mark in particular considering his three-month run with her friend that obviously hadn't meant a thing to him beyond the sex, but was Grayson any different? He was capable of being different...She recalled the look on his face when he'd turned the pages of her gift, his eyes actually misting over, but also recalled other looks he'd bestowed on her in the past and had to admit he was capable of being a hundred times colder than these two idiots combined. And while he hadn't recently done anything in particular to make her worry, she had noticed a significant decline in their deeper conversations. When she tried to get him talking about his father or his current feelings about emotions he'd find a way to evade it.

And it seemed oddly coincidental that the very thing he'd wanted to accomplish this summer had now been accomplished in a major way. She kept telling herself that he had not had a hand in recent events, but she couldn't help but wonder. After all it was Dori, his ever loyal co-conspirator, who had caused the destruction of her and Sonya.

Please let that be paranoia talking, she silently asked. She loved him so fucking much, she couldn't bear the thought of losing him again. But she also couldn't stand the estrangement with two of her most beloved people.

She glanced across the room at her old friends. Without Grayson providing a distraction, she felt the weight of her recent decisions more heavily than usual. If it weren't for her relationship with him she would be sitting there with them, and it was suddenly so appealing she could barely stay in her seat. She looked down at the bag at her feet and took a deep breath. At least the gifts gave her an excuse to walk over there. She picked up the bag and slid out of the booth, making her way toward them with her heart in her throat. As usual it seemed as though all eyes were on her.

When she reached them Andie glanced at her but looked away quickly, as if the sight of her was painful. "What do you want, Ary?" She asked stiffly. Sonya didn't even bother to look up.

Ary reached in her bag and pulled out the gift-wrapped books. "I wanted to give you these."

Andie glanced at her again with an exaggerated sigh. "You could have just brought them to my house," she said as she took them from her, "obviously you're hoping for an invite to the table."

Ary stared at her. An invite to the table? "Not exactly," she managed after she got over her shock, "I did hope we could...”

"What?" Andie cut her off, "Talk? Make up? Grayson isn't around so you suddenly remember that you have other friends? I'm sorry Aryanne, but as long as you're with that asshole we really have nothing to talk about. So thanks for the present and I hope you have a good Christmas, but I can't offer you anything else at the moment."

Ary's throat was too tight to respond. She looked at Sonya who still hadn't even acknowledged her presence and felt a sudden flare of anger, finding her voice.

"Fine. But just to be clear; under no circumstances would I ditch you because I didn't like a guy you were dating. I get that I'm not perfect, I made a couple of mistakes lately and I'm sorry for them, but I'm beginning to think I'm the only person in my whole personal scope with any depth. You have a good Christmas too."

She spun and strode out of the lounge before Andie could respond. Her heart was pounding and her stomach felt sick, she was equal parts furious and hurt. What had Sonya called Andie? Self-righteous? Wasn't that the fucking truth. And Sonya? Seriously? She'd been wrong for betraying her confidence, that was a given. But Mark being an intolerable dick-wad was not her fault. He didn't deserve Sonya, he didn't deserve anyone for that matter.

She walked into the library and went straight to the back, breathing in the familiar, slightly musty smell of hardcover books. She chose a row that wasn't visible to the majority of the room and sank down on the floor, leaning her back against the shelves. She had no idea whether her statement had hit home or if she'd only succeeded in alienating them further and at the moment she couldn't give a rat's ass.

People suck, she thought miserably, wrapping her arms around her knees. She felt the burn of tears and fought them, but it was a losing battle. Between the comment Gary had made and the rejection from her old friends, tears were inevitable.

She put her forehead on her knees as the first of them leaked out and within moments she was silently sobbing, her shoulders shaking from the vibration. She wished Grayson were here and at the same time she was glad he wasn't. He'd hold and soothe her, but he would also use the opportunity to point out that her love for people was overrated and undeserved. Well that goes for you too, doesn't it? She thought at him angrily, then felt guilty and sent him a silent apology.

She was startled by a hand on her shoulder and looked up into Dori's concerned face. She turned away, embarrassed.

"It sucks doesn't it," Dori said in a voice of commiseration as she sat beside her. "I couldn't hear them but the look on Andie's face was enough to see that she was giving you a hard time, and Sonya didn't even bother to look at you, right after you defended her at your own expense."

Ary looked away, drying her face with her sleeve and sighed, "That's exactly the tact Grayson would use in this situation. I'd rather you didn't." The hand on her shoulder froze and dropped away.

"I'm sorry," Dori said quietly, and her voice did sound regretful.

Ary looked at her and managed a smile. "It's okay. I know they're being jerks, but also that they have their reasons. I've been friends with them for more than eight years, I refuse to believe this thing between us won't heal. It's different than it was with Amanda, I never felt as close to her, I always knew her insecurities were a liability. Mostly for her. But Andie, granted she can be a know-it-all stubborn ass beotch, but she's also solid and loyal at the core. And Sonya, well she obviously felt a great deal more for that stupid ass than he ever deserved. She's hurt and angry, but she'll get over it. We'll all get over it and through it."

Dori nodded, her eyes sad. "Well I hope so. They're complete fools otherwise."

Ary's smile was genuine this time. "Thanks Dori. I believe you mean that." She thought about saying more, but reminded herself that Dori was for Grayson and refrained.

"I do." Dori also seemed to want to say more but instead she squeezed Ary's shoulder and stood. "I have to get to class, I'll see you later."

Ary nodded, watching the girl walk back down the aisle, her hips swaying a bit, until she disappeared around the corner. It was too bad she had made it so abundantly clear that her loyalties lie with Grayson alone, otherwise Ary could imagine developing a deeper relationship with her. She did believe Dori had come to genuinely like her, but that didn't mean she could ever fully trust her.

"Who can I fully trust?" She muttered. Myself, that's who. Which wasn't as disheartening as it sounded. She was beginning to see that most people couldn't trust themselves which was why they were unreliable with everyone around them. When she'd told Andie that she knew she wasn't perfect, had made a few mistakes lately, it wasn't lip service. She was aware of her own actions and knew when she was wrong, enabling her to forgive others more easily.

She took a deep breath and pushed it out slowly, digging for the will to get up off of the floor. She wasn't sure what she would do with the time before her remaining class and was tempted to ditch. It was a long walk home, but she'd still get there before the day ended. She pulled herself to her feet. A long walk sounded good.

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