It must have been around one in the morning when Eric heard his phone ring; and he knew exactly who it was despite having been asleep.
It was his long time best friend, whom he was annoyed at, having been ditched for a party that he knew would have been terrible. A load of kids from the lower years back from school had no doubt got the house to themselves and had got some booze... something pretty easily done no matter what your age.
But John and Eric had long since left school and had really started to forget about that old kiddy life, as they had just begun their first years of real work and money. These kids partying were annoying and naive... only in it to get a good selfie.
“What do you want, John?”
“Ah dude, you were right. The party sucked, man, and I am stuck for a lift out of here... I’ve had a bit to drink, and yeah... I have no one else to get me home.”
It wasn’t uncommon of Eric to drive, but he had no licence to speak of and was only 16... John 15. But none the less he could drive unusually well despite his age.
“No, man! Its late, my mom is probably still awake, and I would be eaten alive if I was caught driving without a licence... you know that!”
John sighed over the phone as Eric turned his light on revealing his single bed room with desk and several guitars.
“Alright...”
Eric hung up the phone before he could continue and left his room.
He entered an open-plan living space... a sizable cinema system and bar at one end, kitchen at the other end. A long hall divided the spaces, as if it was a square divided into two triangles, with east-facing windows overlooking a terrace, lawn and pool. The ceilings were wooden and high, so the heat had some place to go making the house awesomely cool during the summer.
The teen was unsurprised to find his mother passed out from too much alcohol on a sofa. She had two friends who had also passed out.
“Having an alcoholic mother has its benefits, I guess” thought Eric as he eyed his mother’s set of Nissan Terrano keys on the kitchen table. He had driven her home from bars numerous times in what she had dubbed “Driving lessons,” but in actual fact was just a safer alternative to her driving.
He picked the keys up, went to his room to grab his shoes and phone and called his friend.
“Dude, be at that fucking weird junction at the beginning of the village.”
Eric felt the adrenalin rush as he casually went to his mother’s car and got in. Her friends had come in a tiny Renault Clio, which Eric had plenty of space to back around... he switched the headlights on just down the track so that the lights would not reflect into the house. He drove until he had passed all the fields for the horses and stopped at the edge of the property...
... his phone was not ringing... his mother was still unconscious.
He raced down the tracks of the wild brush, the outback somewhere people could be seldom found at night. He headed onto a tarred road and before he knew it, he was rolling through a deserted village.
Eric was tense... at any moment a cop could roll round a corner and wonder why someone so young is driving such a big powerful 4x4. His phone could go at any minute... a torrent of abuse and weeks of grounding... but so far, Eric was in the clear despite what his nerves were telling him.
He made it through the village undetected, and was the cruising down a long winding road through more brush. It was cool, the night sky partly cloudy, but bright and clear due to the lack of light pollution. You could turn the headlights off and still be able to see the road and its numerous potholes.
A billboard came into view and there was John with a big joint in his mouth in the middle an odd arrangement of many intersects despite it only being a three-way junction. The jeep purred to a jogging-pace, as Eric could see John was trying to get away from several younger kids. He managed to get into the moving vehicle and they sped off in the wrong direction.
“Man, those fucking little dick-weebs, they invite a rock slash metal musician and play faggy pop man... and they only had cheetos man... my shit’s gonna me orange for a week.”
It was comforting banter for Eric, as any feeling of abandonment had quickly evaporated.
They passed the joint, taking only two or three drags between the as they headed into the national park... a thick forest with numerous abandoned houses, farms and lakes which they had spent their childhood exploring. This was one of those few times they could go in a jeep.
They decided to climb the higher hills which over-looked a lake... a nice spot during the day but treacherous at night. They parked near the top on an almost-flat plain which had been turn bone-dry in the heat of the day.
“So yeah man, I am definitely going back to England now... this place has change man.”
Eric listened as he shut off his mother’s diesel engine, leaving the headlights on dim.
“But man, this is fucking cool, thank you,” said John, as he got out of the car, his phone ready for pictures to upload to annoy the party-goers of the rubbish shindig.
They sat and talked for a while, Eric laughing as they talked about what they could cook when they got back. In fact he couldn’t believe he was getting away with this... stealing a car to pick his friend up, smoking weed all the way.
They eventually were getting cold a decided it was time.
John buckled up as Eric turned the key in the ignition... the engine chugged but wouldn’t catch. He put it in first gear, and eased of the clutch slightly pumping it, trying to do a gear-bump start (something he could only do in a land rover they used as a work horse on the land). But it was no use. The battery had been drained.
Eric was terrified... how was he going to explain this...
They got out and frantically tried pushing it, but the vehicle weighed over a ton, and could not be push back over this lip of the track. Every time they tried, harder than the last time, they sapped more energy... until they could control the vehicle. I threatened to topple of the side of the hill, but Eric was quick on the hand break.
The boys were sweating in both fear and from the sheer exertion of trying to move it.
“I fucking hate you...” Eric muttered as he felt a boiling rage bubble through his veins.
“In my defence, you didn’t have to do this...”
Eric was thinking about punching his best friend, but it would do no good. They were in the middle of the forest miles away from home and even if they did have the balls to call either of their parents, they could never explain where they were.
“Okay John, we have to run back to the village, maybe someone will help with jump-leads”
For miles they ran... faster than they should have been, but the forest was a scary and dangerous place at night. Wild boar roamed the brush, and they were known to be particularly aggressive when protecting young. There were even talk of wolves, and lynx, so they really didn’t want to hang around any longer than they should have.
The hills killed their muscles, burning their lungs and forcing them to cough from the weed. John had pre-rolled his joints, so it was pretty miraculous when the two of the had made it several miles in less than an hour.
But again, the village was deserted... and who would stop to help two stoned teens cover up a stolen vehicle? To add to that, the forest had painted them brown and green... they looked like they had roughed it.
“Dude, I’ve got a plan, but I need you to tell me honestly...” Eric begun, barely able to catch his breath... “Can you drive an automatic?”
John stared bewildered for a moment before smiling.
“Kinda, yeah... the dumper at home is an automatic.”
“Good enough... because I am going to need you to drive my stepdads car.”
It was another several miles before they got back to Eric’s house. It was nearing 3.30in the morning, but Eric’s mother was still in the same spot... one of her friends had disappeared.
They found his stepdads keys in his coat pocket, but had a tea and a bar of chocolate before leaving.
However, when the got into the drive, they had a problem... The Renault Clio was in the way.
John solved this very quickly however, and simply released the hand-break and pushed it.
They got into yet another 4x4... the second stolen vehicle of the night and rolled down the valley back to the forest.
Eric went over the basics about driving an automatic... showed him the overdrive button and then immediately regretted it seeing a devilish grin spread across his stoned face.
“This is a great idea... fuck up both my parents cars... yeah Dave, I let my 15 year old friend drive your V-8 engine Ford”
Eric’s conscious was playing his strings violently... the thought of the ramifications of getting caugh just too great.
Before long, they had returned to the Nissan, only to find they were missing the one vital piece of the puzzle which should have been in the back... the jumper cables.
“My dad has some” said John, which was followed by a scoff from Eric.
He sipped his doobie nervously, thinking...
“Fuck it, lets go”
It was another 30 minutes before they had got back to the village where his friend lived. They got to a town house just off the main road and parked outside.
John went in, and came out 10 minutes later giggling.
“Mate, I had to wake my dad to help me find them... he was just passed out on the sofa and asked what they were for... I just told him Eric’s mate needs them and he got them from the garage for me. I got him a beer and he passed out again after turning the TV on...”
His friend recounted their night, and how it had been from a shit party to getting stuck in the forest... stealing cars... he was proud and had no doubt tweeted most of his story.
It was four in the morning when they got back to the Nissan... it had not been shat in by a vagrant and hadn’t moved... the hood popped... the cables barely slipped on.
Eric refused to turn the ignition of the Ford off for the entire journey... the fear of that too dying just too great.
And then it started... the Nissan was alive again.
They planned everything while the cars ran, the only noise and light for miles in that forest. They talked about formation, who was first and how to park... even rolling the Clio back into place before parking my mum’s car.
But there was the case of John... he had never driven a car on the road before... let alone a V8 beast. Eric was nervous... he thought there was a 50/50 chance of this plan actually working, and then an almost certain chance his mother would stir from her drunken stupor.
They left the night of the forest for the street lamps of the village and didn’t get caught by the police... they got to the open brush, not a car in sight and cruised at a fast pace. Soon they came off road and Eric couldn’t believe it...
... before long, they had parked the jeeps exactly as planned, and rolled the Clio back in place.
Eric was proud both cars were back, but he was about to no doubt face the imbibed wrath of his alcoholic mother...
except when he got through the door... there she was... still passed out on the sofa
“Ahh, the benefits of having an alcoholic mother.” He thought to himself as he gazed at an ornate clock, its hand pointing to five in the morning.
They spent the rest of the night outside, smoking a celebrating... so many lines had been crossed, so many things gone wrong, but somehow it had all turned out alright.
Had Eric punched him in the forest, things would have been different... he stuck by his friend and they got through.
At roughly 8, Erics mother came out asking: “ Want anything from the shop lads?”
They declined, and continued taling.
Not three minute later the hungover mother came back... “Seems my battery is flat... going to have to take your dad's.”
They managed to contain their laughter... but only just. Had Eric’s mother not still been half drunk, she might have suspected something...
... however, they got away with it, and thats why younger kids wanted to invite them to parties... in the hope of being in one of their epic adventures that many people no doubt didn’t believe.