My wife and I recently began streaming Mad Men on Netflix. I know, we're very late to the party.
Watching this series really got me thinking about how much socially accepted norms and the very definition of what being a male is have changed since the era when Mad Men took place in (the 1960's). Much of this social change is for the better. The chauvinism, the bigotry, the day drinking, the chain smoking...just to name a few. This was an era when some of the worst aspects of testosterone ran amuck. Growing up in the 1970's I still remember when this kind of archaic and damaging behavior was still hanging on for dear life and it was a very different world.
There are very few bastions of maleness still left these days....sanctuaries where men can go to relax, bond, and swap stories. The neighborhood hardware store and a traditional barbershop are the only two that I’m coming up with at this very moment, although I’m sure there are probably a few more.
“A man is one whose body has been trained to be the ready servant of his mind; whose passions are trained to be the servants of his will; who enjoys the beautiful, loves truth, hates wrong, loves to do good, and respects others as himself.” –John Ruskin
After writing a barber shop scene for a short story I was working on recently I was reminded of my first visit to a traditional barber shop. I was four years old and so small that I needed help getting into the chair. I remember how intriguing the entire experience was and how incredible I felt afterwards.
My father and Jerry, the barber, were old friends. That day was the first time I had ever experienced “man talk”. That conversation contained a generous amount of braggadocio, jokes, and enough curse words in between to make things interesting. Once I became accustomed to it I liked it. Even at four years old this male-bonding made me feel like “one of the boys”, at ease, and a little more grown up.
A good barbershop experience leaves you feeling more equipped to deal with the challenges that life will inevitably throw at you. Kind of like carrying your favorite pocket knife or owning a collection of high quality tools.
Throughout my teens and early twenties I drifted to those unisex budget salons. Most of the stylists were fresh out of school and there was so much staff turnover it was rare to get the same stylist twice. The haircuts in these places were usually dirt cheap and just okay. There was very little banter, just pleasantries and that’s if you were lucky. Something substantial was missing.
My mom always used to tell me you can’t hide a bad haircut. She should know, she used to cut hair for a living. When I started making enough money to go to decent barber shops I never locked back. A few of them have even given me that same feeling I had when I was lifted into my first barbershop chair at age four.
I'm grateful to have found a place that carries on that tradition. For the past few years I’ve been going to Saints Coast Barber Studio in St. Paul.
Over the past four years I've watched owner, Chris Osborn, grow his business from a single chair in a small rented studio to his own multi-chair shop. Saints Coast is the real deal.
Chris hasn’t attempted to create some faux-hipster vibe, like so many franchised businesses are trying to. Chris has captured the essence of the traditional barber shop and has brought it forward into the twenty-first century. There's always conversation flowing, and good music streaming. The shop feels unpretentious, authentic, and comfortable, like a broken in pair of your favorite boots.
It's great to know there are still places where men can still congregate and celebrate the good and honorable aspects of maleness. We need more places like the barber shop that remind us that, in a complicated world, being a man doesn't have to be complex. Although we may enter that door feeling weary, with our heads hung low, we leave feeling polished, more than ready for whatever is next.
Thank you for reading,
Eric
(Gifs sourced from Giphy.com, pictures are original.)
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