As you’ve probably gathered by now, fire played an integrally important role in my younger days. Not only used to cook my food but also to burn my friends up. However, it transpires that I was not the only one who could fall under the spell of it’s mesmerizing, irresistible allure…
So, I’m chilling with my girlfriend at the time. Soon to be my wife. We were watching some random movie on television and it was late in the night. Around 1am or the like, if I recall correctly. Anyways, everything is going by as normal, when I notice subtle movements from the corner of my eye. It’s
, looking around in the most peculiar fashion. But definitely sensing that something is amiss.
”Hey hun, you cool?” I asked. ”What’s the matter?”
”I can smell smoke.” she replied, looking progressively more concerned from one moment to the next. I did what any sane guy would. Looked around the room. Everything appeared normal enough. No candles of any sort as we used central heating for warmth.
”You sure?” I asked again, not picking up on the same familiar scent as her. Though she now began to panic a little.
”I’m telling you, I can smell smoke! Go check it out, will you?”
Obediently, I got up from the comfort of my couch and slotted into my "investigation persona". First, I looked out the living room door to our left. Nothing out of the ordinary there, with everything appearing as it should. I could feel my thoroughly conducted search was almost complete. Looking back at her, I shrugged.
”I don’t know. Go look out the window or something!” She barked back, more than a little frustrated at my lack of interest with this unsettling quandary.
I moseyed over to the window, wondering when the fuss would end as I was pretty certain nothing would come of this unnecessary palava. Brushing the curtain to one side, I envisaged a sight I don’t think I’ll ever forget. This might sound crazy but the road had gone. I mean like, there was nothing there but a blank void. I squinted nearer through the window, only to behold a world that had somehow vanished. Now, I also started to panic.
”Hun, what the hell is going on?” I muttered over my shoulder. ”I can’t see anything out the window.” Before she chose a suitable response to my bold and confusing statement, I peered in more closely. The shock knocked me for six. On closer inspection, it suddenly made complete horrifying sense. I leaped away and darted to the phone, the side effect being
”What happened? What did you see?” She exclaimed, alarmed by… Well, my alarm. ”The street is filled with smoke! It can only one person!” I cried out. Someone was a prior history of burning things just to toss them nonchalantly out of the window. It could only be... The son, Aubrey.
”Oh my god! Orbit!” She shrieked. This was a name she had conjured up for him soon after she got to know the character that he was. I’d crack up every time she mentioned him using that ingenious colloquialism. But not tonight, not with our very lives in imminent danger.
I dialled “999” and quickly ordered up a fire engine before we both sped upstairs to get a better view of things from the top window in the bedroom. Oh yes, the situation was much clearer from up here. Smoke poured from a small ventilator in "hell house”. Or should I say, the miniature portal into evil itself! Luckily, no flames raged outside else our house, which was literally next door, would be next in line. What a absolute lunatic this guy was!
We looked on, eyes wide with terror, waiting for the moment those yellow, flickering arcs found there way out of that furnace within. I spotted the fire engine hurtling down the street in a matter of minutes. The police followed suit not too long after, cordoning off the road on either end. So much for a quiet night in! In the end, not one but three fire engines surrounded the house of sacrilege. Though still no sign of the three certifiable dwellers. Four fireman rushed up the pathway as their door opened up and they all fled out like roaches, one by one. Aubrey was acting delusional as usual, laughing like he’d just returned from a enjoyable night out at the pub. His sister was in hysterics, screaming at the top of her lungs ”This is what it’s like to live with him! Just look at what we’ve got living with us!” Pot and kettle spring to mind but at least she was never a danger to the other inhabitants on our road.
Well, the following day, I ventured out of my house to observe the damage from the safety of the roadside pavement. Around the plastic sections of the ventilator where the smoke funnelled through, was a dark black ring of soot. I assumed the fire would have burned through much more, given the awful severity I had initially anticipated. But still, the hidden "insides" were another matter altogether. Though they had seen fit to pin up some makeshift curtains (looking more like cheap bedding to be perfectly honest) so as to keep unwanted, prying eyes out. Mainly, mine!
”God!” I whispered to myself. ”When in the hell are these guys gonna leave my otherwise peaceful road alone?”
