The rolling stone

Looking back, I never really settled in a job for long, I had to keep moving, never attaching myself to a company or anything or anyone. You know like some people personalize their workstations with memorabilia, pictures of husbands and wives, gadgets and even plants. Not me, instinctively I always felt I was passing through and I didn’t belong. The office politics was disgusting, someone always had something to say about someone, and looking back I struggled to accept this was how things were, I thought why can’t people just let people be. And yes, I’d feel a sense of injustice and stick up for the underdog which often got me into trouble.

It wasn’t surprising that I became a victim for intimidation and bullying by colleagues who thought I had too much to say. After a meeting to discuss the culture in the office, I approached a colleague who I’d go to lunch with and queried why she didn’t speak up. She’d had a lot to say when no one was around, but when called on to give her views, she said she didn’t think there was anything wrong in the office. I was so angry and told her what I thought, her response was ‘the nail that sticks out gets hammered the most’. I couldn’t believe it, what a bitch I thought to myself.

But the strange bit was although the lack of support and bullying hurt, it made me more determine for justice and to do what was right. In doing what was right either got me fired from my job or I would walk out in protest. In that moment, I didn’t think about the bills I had to pay, whether I had a job or not, or the effect on my standard of living. Fuck em, I had a voice they weren’t going to shut up, I was stronger than that, I wasn’t no push over who was going to roll over to be the flavour of the month. At every opportunity even in my personal life fighting for justice was my thing. It would make sense then that social work as a profession really appealed to my level of consciousness.

Before I became a social worker, I dabbled in so many different jobs in various roles ranging from putting on a fashion show, singing with a band, a stint as a personal assistant, the list goes on. What I loved the most was that I was in positions of authority, I felt important, it was something I could boast about to my family and friends. My job titles was how I defined my self-worth and value, because you see for a long time growing up well into my teens and early adulthood, I assumed responsibility for my entire family. My mum and dad had high expectations of me, I was praised for my academic ability and physical agility.

I won every race I ran, the 100 metres sprint, 200 metres relay, the marathon, you name it, I won it. I recall my father in his conversation with family and friends, he was so proud of me he’d recite attending the recent parents evening where he spoke to my head teacher about my school grades. It went something like this, “her teacher told me she is very bright”, but what he would fail to mention however are the words that followed “but she gets herself involved with friends she shouldn’t be hanging around with.” He was my biggest fan and supporter, and with his advice and wise counsel, it encouraged me to pursue higher education and hold values that has shaped me to be the person I am today.

Note: Excerpts taken from the book ‘The stone the builder rejected’ by J J Law which is available to purchase on Amazon in both paperback and Kindle Unlimited. Tune in tomorrow for the second instalment here on Steemit!