Its a nice read and I am sure the readers want to see more.
But please, please, remove that star-shaped birthmark from the first sentence!! I am the last one to judge, since I LOVE to work with clichees, but that is too much even for me ;)
Also the sentences at the start are quite long, add a few points.
RE: NaNoWriMo Excerpt #3 -- The Girl (Outwilds)