something we looked forward to. We chose who we wanted to visit, and most times, we
visited Big Daddy, my dad’s eldest brother in Ikota, or Aunty Bunmi. Both places were
always fun for us.
In Big Daddy’s house, we were as free as birds. I enjoyed following Big Mummy to
the market, as I got compliments from people. I also enjoyed staying with her in the
kitchen while she cooked. As she cooked, she usually gave me what she was cooking to
taste and you can imagine how exciting that was for me.
Big Mummy would bath for Samson and I on such visits and serve us large portions
of food. It was with her I got to like yellow Ghana buns and Kunu. It was always fun at
Ikota. I would make sand castles and just play all over the place. My cousins, Aunty Toyin,
Uncle Yomi and Aunty Bukola were very nice and easy to relate with. And for the first
time, I saw another fair person in my dad’s family; Aunty Toyin. We got very close and she
usually spoiled me with a lot of gifts.
Whenever we got home, after a visit to Ikota, we had little else to talk about than our
time there. My sisters would call Unoma, Chika and other friends in the neighbourhood
to tell tales, especially tales of boys they met at Big Daddy’s place.
Aunty Bunmi’s house was also fun. She is Big Daddy’s first born and was already
married as at then. Her house was almost always full. If we did not go to Ikota during
holidays, then we were at her house. Her children were young like I was then. Tosin, her
first child, is about my age, Dami, is Samson’s age, then the last two; Tobi and Ope.
The most interesting part of our visit with Aunty Bunmi was the TV part. We did
not have DSTV in our house, but they did. We watched a lot of cartoons there. I think my
favourite at that time was Power Puff Girls and my brother’s was Power Rangers. My sisters
watched a lot of movies when they came into the living room. It was my first time
knowing I could watch several movies without buying CDs.
It was at her house I watched the movie, Sound of Music, for the first time. It was a
very emotional experience for us; we all screamed that day at the end when Captainmarried Maria. I remember teaching the high school movie songs, and cartoon songs to
my friends in the compound when I got back home. I always felt more intelligent and
better exposed than my neighbourhood friends whenever I returned from such visits.
We had just returned from one of our trips to Aunty Bunmi’s house, when we
entered the house and saw a pot of soup. It was very unusual as dad never cooked while
we were away. If at all he did, nothing much like what we saw in the pot.
His clothes were washed. There was just something different about the house we
met. We wondered if he hired someone to do the chores for him, but we doubted so. We
knew our dad’s routine. He worked on the Island so he left home as early as five every
morning, returned not earlier than 10:30pm, complaining of traffic, and exhausted.
Many times, he slept off while eating. It was only on Sundays he stayed home and he slept
for long hours on Sundays. We were sure the transformation in the house was not his
doing.
While we were still in shock, Unoma and Chika came in and started telling my sisters
all that happened while we were away, as usual. According to them, a dark-skinned
woman had been coming to the house and sometimes had stayed overnight. My sisters
and I refused to believe what we heard.
What strengthened my faith was it had been a while since my dad and mum
separated, since I was in Nursery 2. And since then, my dad’s friends, when visiting, had
told him to remarry, but he kept saying he would not, that he had five wives already,
referring to his five daughters. He said he did not want any woman who would maltreat
his children in his absence. He said this over and again to his friends. I knew this because
like I said earlier, I was daddy’s girl. I was with him during these conversations.
I hated his friends and wished they would stop visiting. I told my sisters someday
about their ill advice to dad, but discovered it was no news to them; they had been
eavesdropping. We further disliked them because they always made my dad spend.
Whenever they came, he would ask us to get them drinks and tell my sisters to cook for
them. While the food was being prepared, he would ask us to buy fried turkey from Mama Unoma’s restaurant. We hated the sight of them.
There was a day dad was very tired and had not had enough sleep. He told us to tell
anyone who came looking for him that he was not home. Coincidentally, his friends came
that day. With joy in our hearts, my sisters and I chorused, “he is not around!” That day,
we felt triumphant. But we never told dad they came or he would have been upset. He
liked his friends being with him.
So, knowing how much his friends meant to him, and seeing he had defied their
suggestions time and again, we were certain what Chika and Unoma told us could not be.
We pushed it aside and told them stories of our visit with Aunty Bunmi.
One night after, however, my dad woke us up. That was the first time he would be
waking us up at night. He told us how he had stayed five years without a wife and now he
had found a good woman who would not maltreat us, who would treat us like her own.
He said she already had a son and that in a few days, she would be coming to live with us.
I still remember the upset on my sisters’ faces. He promised we will like the woman.
We cried and pleaded with him, telling him we were fine without her, but he had already
decided. Some days after, he returned home early, took a shower and stepped out almost
immediately. Without a word to anyone, he came back some hours after with the dark-
skinned woman the neighbours had told us about. She came in all smiles and met all
frowns.
I was upset. My brother just stared. We were all quiet as she made her way in. My dad
wondered why we did not greet her, so he demanded that we do. We did. Shortly after, he
did the introductions; introducing her as his new wife and our step mother. He told us to
respect her as we would our mother.
My dad told us he had not been accepting contracts outside Lagos because of us,
but that with this new development, his heart was at rest and he would begin travelling
again. He informed us that his new wife had a shop where she sold food stuff and we
would be expected to help out at her shop every now and then. He asked us to treat her
son, Peter, like a brother. His speech that day was very long.I am not sure Adetutu and Bose slept that night as I kept hearing their voices, even
in my sleep. I could not hear all they said; they were not so audible. I was not happy that
my dad now had a new wife, but I knew there was nothing I could do about it. Dad had
made up his mind. The experience with my mum leaving had taught me that. It was now
confirmed beyond doubt that my mum was not coming back.
I was afraid though. I had read a lot of stories about step-mums and the stories were
not pleasant at all. About that time, I had a best friend, Toyosi Oyesile, so I decided I
would tell her all about it in church the next day.
So, during Sunday School the next day, I started whispering to her, but she could not
hear me clearly. While trying to be louder, our Sunday School teacher noticed us and
separated us. That same day, we had a newcomer in church, someone who would become
a major part of my life in later years. She was fair and pretty. She was told to introduce
herself and she did. She said her name was Sarah David. I was confused when I heard her
say that as I expected her surname to be an indigenous name. She was the first person I
was getting to know with both names non-indigenous.
After the service that day, I walked up to the new girl, Sarah, and introduced myself.
She was shy. We didn’t talk much before I left her and went to speak with Toyosi. When I
disclosed the news to my best friend, she was shocked and did not believe me at first.
I had to convince her I was not kidding. Because of our closeness, she had become
close to my dad too. She wanted to come home with me to ask him. I would have allowed
her, but I was not sure what my dad’s reaction would be. She did not have any advice for
me, but it was good letting it out to a friend. She asked if I had told Mummy Amanda.
Mummy Amanda was a mother to many of us in church. She was there for my siblings
and I when my mum was away.
Mummy Amanda gave us money and gifts at different times; lightening our
burdens. Her husband worked in Cadbury then, so at the end of every month we enjoyed
a lot of Cadbury products. So, yielding to Toyosi’s suggestion, my sisters and I went
ahead to tell Mummy Amanda.She did not believe us as she was one of those praising my dad for not remarrying
and also hoping for my mum’s return. When she finally did believe, she counselled us.
She told us to make the process easy on our dad and his wife and asked us to pray for
them.
Back at home, my sisters did not like our step-mum and they did not hide it. I did not
like her coming to take my mum’s place, but I guess my little child’s heart did not take it as
personal as my elder sisters.
The news must have gotten to my mother. I was seated with Samson in front of the
house one afternoon, doing my assignments, Adetutu was in the kitchen and Bose was
tidying up the house when we heard people screaming our mum’s name outside the gate.
Samson and I ran out. When we got outside, we saw mummy in Mama Unoma’s
embrace, kids from the neighbourhood flocking around her. I jumped on my mum and
she whispered to me, “you’re already getting old”. I smile now as I remember that.
After the drama outside was over, we led her into the house.We had missed her as it
had been a while we saw her. We gave her updates as usual and broke the news to her. She
said she knew. She said she had been hoping our step-mum would be home when she
came; my mum wanted to meet her. Her eyes teared up as she spoke words I would never
forget. “So, Kola moved on without me!”
She said if anyone had told her that her husband would remarry or that they would
be separated, she would have dismissed the words confidently. My siblings and I joined
her as we all wept. When she had gathered her emotions, she comforted us and told us
God would watch over us and she prayed God’s provision for daddy to keep providing
for us.
My mum is a natural peacemaker. She never wants to be in strife with anyone, so she
told us to be at peace with our step mother and promised to check up on us from time to
time. She gave us money and provisions. She then prayed for us, as usual, and reminded
us to call her if ever there was an urgent need.
Things were not the same any more. I could not sleep in the room with my dad. Icould not sleep on the same bed with him. I could not eat with him any more. No more
cuddling. My dad spent more time with his new wife. This made me jealous and angry.
But eventually, I got used to the development.
Samson and Peter, my step-brother, started getting along well. They played, talked
together and even slept side by side. My dad could not hide his joy at how the two boys
were getting along. If my dad was happy, then I was somewhat comforted.