Camilli I
She was contemplating the nudity of her body in the mirror of her bathroom, it was almost the day, at midnight she would be entering the fourth decade of her life. She was so vulnerable, detached from all pledges and heavy loads, as the most visceral and primitive woman of all. When she observed herself in detail, Camilli already began to notice the passage of the years in her autumnal skin, wrinkles and stretch marks evidenced the emaciation in her physical body, but they could not represent in the least the deep cuts in her soul, which still bleeding in gushes since 19 years ago, an overwhelming pain that she could feel even now, staring herself in front of the fogged mirror.
Only in those intimate moments, Camilli was able to see beyond the magnanimous paraphernalia of makeup that used to cover her face on the rigorous podiums of a court, the desolation of that space stripped her of all self-control, of all abstinence, of all the need to demonstrate decency; only there, in the perpetual loneliness of that bathroom, she could feel completely liberated from all the chains and masks, that was the only place where she could feel like a person who shouldn’t comply with the demands and expectations of a prejudiced society, she knew that in front of the mirror she could no longer pretend anymore.
Camilli got out of the bathroom completely renewed, she only needed to exfoliate her body with a few moisturizing creams and perfumed it with the most sophisticated French fragrances, she dressed in her best clothes and the most ostentatious jewelry of her collection, picked up her wavy brown hair, a lipstick painted her mouth with an indistinguishable magenta color and then she highlighted her beautiful gray eyes with the dark tones of her favorite eyeliner. Now she looked as regal and fresh as in her younger days; she knew that, like every day, when she left the door of her apartment, she has to face a superficial and implacable world in which patriarchy still prevailed, –the good presence was, practically, a prerequisite for the women in society –.
She walked through the buffet lobbies with imposing presence, the violent sound of her tabby high heels echoing throughout the room; magister in law, one of the most famous lawyers in Milan, recognized and feared equally, many scourges of society had ended behind bars thanks to her tough and untamed attitude inside and outside the courts of Italy.
Camilli was sitting in her Persian armchair of ivory colors, tasting placidly an exquisite pheasant, then the Magistrate Versace entered full of sobriety.
“I’m afraid that tomorrow you will have a new case, one that’s very complicated, but I have the slight sensation that this one will please you a lot,” the Magistrate said between laughs.
"I can’t deny that starting from that intriguing preamble, you already got all my attention, so let it go," Camilli ventured.
“Well, let's say you have to sink a scum that fits perfectly in your filter, a repugnant rapist.
“Well, what a waste... Undoubtedly, I would really enjoy sinking that slop, but it's a real pity that, due to personal reasons, I can’t litigate that case. I don’t know if you've heard, but tomorrow I'll be traveling to Rome to see my daughter.
“Oh, I actually didn’t know it yet... And you know, it's a pity, you were the best person for this intricate case; Come on! It is about a pedophile priest who’s being defended by the lawyers of the Catholic Church, could there be anything worse than that? I’m so saddened by what happened to that poor eleven-year-old little girl,” He said with a piercing tone, evidently Magistrate Versace intended to provoke her with that little hypocritical speech so that one way or another, Camilli would be involved in the case, –there’s no doubt, this bastard has accomplished his task –Camilli thought.
“Ok, I accept that you have achieved it, I will advance my trip to Rome for this afternoon, tomorrow at the first hour I’ll be at the buffet to analyze the details of the case, meanwhile, I will make the pertinent inquiries” She replied hypocritically.
Camilli got out exalted from her office, the nature of the case unnerved her to the point of feeling completely distressed; when she listened to what happened to the girl she felt like a scythe cut her from the forehead to her sex, her mind was flooded with feelings and visceral remembrances, all of them, conglomerated, immersing her mind in a sea of red and dark tones that intermingled in a vortex of emotions, one that evoked a lean color as intense as that of the raw liver. Her ingrained sense of justice had always predisposed her to suffer from these intense reactions, and even more so when it was a detestable pedophile, in cases like that one, not even all her self-control could avoid that irrepressible and repulsive sensation that spread throughout her body, it was the shadow of the post-traumatic stress that kept tearing her deep inside.
As her affliction dissipated, there was only one thing left, she just craved for an early retaliation, –I have to destroy the root of evil –she thought while looking frivolously toward the horizon, so calm, so imperturbable and silent that she seemed to be trapped in another world.
She drove quickly to the nearest airport and took the first flight to take off to the Vatican.
Camilli was sitting on the plane seat, her hands were busy transcribing text messages, but her mind was plotting her next step forward. There was a terrible storm that she didn’t notice until she stopped writing the message; from the windows, Camilli observed with great attention the disharmony of the monsoon winds and the electric clouds, she thought that the panorama fit perfectly like an abstract canvas of her tempestuous interior.
Arriving at the San Pedro convent, Camilli met her daughter Priscilla on the outskirts of the abbey. Priscilla was just an 18-year-old girl: curly hair, slender figure and dark skin, she was the result of a genetic dispute that favored an absent and anonymous father, her features could not be more different from her mother's, an idea with which Camilli could never be reconciled, but after all, that little girl was her daughter, and it only remained for her to hope that one day she would worth all the years invested...
"God bless you my daughter, as I had promised you a month ago, I have come to visit you to know how you have gone on your way as a novice," Camilli said.
"God bless you Mother. Well, I still don’t get used to this at all, but the Lord's guidance is the compass that indicates me where the North is," Priscilla answered with a smile on her face. Whenever Priscilla smiled, her cheeks dimpled. Camilli always detested that expression for believing that it was so mocking and ironic.
“Mysterious are the ways of Lord... You must be so strong my dear, I was once in your privileged position and due to my insecurities I did not want to continue, and today I can see so crystal clear that terrible mistake I made. You must be far better than me; I have worked very hard for it.
Priscilla nodded and hugged her mother between sobs, Priscila's tears running down Camilli's cheeks.
“I know Mother, you and the Lord are my greatest pillars.
“I know it. By the way Priscila, I’d like to see your rooms, but alone, because I want to surprise you," Camilli muttered.
“Sure, I guess there will be no problem.
Camilli walked the corridors of that old convent, she couldn’t help feeling nostalgia and then she remembered when she was 21 years old and was about to finish her preparation to assume their religious vows, but at the end of the day she left the ways of Lord to be able to become a lawyer, but they were still there, deep inside, the remnants of a frustrated past that she would want to forget, overwhelming memories that if she could do it, she would kill them without hesitation.
Camilli entered her daughter's room, from her purse she took out a small and shabby stuffed plush that Priscilla used to sleep with every night, Camilli hadn’t even realized that she still kept it in the hat of her old house in Naples where she raised Priscila from her first months until eleven, Priscilla wept as never before when she moved out of that ramshackle house that had nothing to offer a rising lawyer like Camilli.
Camilli left the old stuffed plush toy on the dresser in Priscilla's room, hoping that her daughter loved it as much as when she was just a little girl.
If you want to read the prologue and the first chapter, here are the links: