It wasn't my first time on a stage... but it always feels like that's the case. At the time of this picture, I was 24 years old. A decade had already passed since I familiarized myself with performing for an audience. As a freshman in High school, I hid amongst numbers in broad stage-lights, as a member of the marching band and percussive ensemble. Perfect opportunity to get my feet wet without having to take a lead. The following years while still in my teens, I performed several times with my High School group — The Kappa League.
Fastbreak to High School Graduation. To my amazement, I was selected without dispute to give the opening speech. It was a profound opportunity in my eyes. As I sat in front of hundreds... the cold, nervous sweat was sopped up by the graduation cap. They called my name. For a brief eternity, the butterflies did aerial routines that somersaulted my diaphragm up to my clavicles. I breathed deep like it was the first breath of life. I watched mesmerized faces as they watched me, apparently doing what I was meant to, almost seemingly on autopilot. "A Catharsis that will lead us into the future", I believe those were my closing words. The experience was riveting; as I imagined and then some. I felt confronted by my own individuality in such a beautiful way. Only the person I had become through these life experiences could ever begin to craft and deliver a message in such a particular way. I'm sure this would be the case for all who felt the gumption and resolve to stand up and try public speaking. Being in front of an audience and speaking my own truths exposed a side of myself I had never been able to experience before.
Throughout my early college years, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and began participating with a student organization called Poetic Lyricism. I performed lyrical rhymes and poetry that were personal, vulnerable, and vivid. It helped to get me in a better state of flow when on stage.
Now fast-forward, we tell the tale of the image you see above... October of 2016. It was the 3rd time performing for me post college graduation... at a venue specifically for artists back in my home town of East Atlanta.The feelings hadn't changed. Still nervous, still excited, still vulnerable, still grateful. The best way I can hope to explain it is like this: Imagine you and a significant other have been dating for a while... Things are at that point where they can get significantly more serious, or fall apart all-together. You decide that it's finally time to be open about it and communicate your deepest and truest feelings to them — to throw your cards on the table. The feeling you have when pouring out your heart, not yet knowing what your partner will say.... THAT is the feeling forever. That's what it feels like when taking the stage.