“Do you think you'd be better off without me?”- my wife asked, innocently flapping her beautiful eyelashes. Innocently, yeah, I felt her hand gently squeeze my testicles, so far gently... We are rowing in this boat called "family" for 11 years, and I know how she change the grip of hands on the paddle to strike.
Attention! male recruits who have just arrived at the front of military operations called "Love". Here is a classic example of the female art of war. This is Schrödinger's question that requires a mirrored answer. You can't just answer Yes or No. No, no, no, there are other rules in this world.
Honey, you had one of those strange dreams again, after which you thought: “I have to check if he takes our relationship seriously”. I think every normal woman may have such doubts. Even if you have been together for 11 years… and 5 years have been married … and you have a child. Indeed, this is not an indicator of 100% seriousness on the part of a man.
Girls, remember, we men, we are like swans, we love once, once and for all and all that. We are very romantic and loyal creatures, just believe in us. Ok? Thanks. Flew off into the sunset on my gorgeous white wings.
Returning to the question of my beloved- a subtle approach is needed here. Like Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon 3 with bomb. I took her hands (just freed my balls), and began to work.
So, let's assume that you and I have not met, anywhere and never, in any universe. I see only two alternative scenarios.
#1
I'm a lone wolf who considers any love relationship to be something abominable and disturbing. This path is chosen only by mama's sons, princesses in pink, or those guys in pink over there. What do I do with billions of minutes of free time? I'm improving myself (Yes, we pretend that I have enough willpower to constantly improve, not to wank and not to play online games all night long).
So, I’m constantly improving and full of energy (due to the lack of masturbation). I’ve achieved amazing results in everything. Have a perfect body, get enough sleep, I’m well-read and educated. Passed all the courses on Coursera. Know everything about everything. I reach heights in any career. For example, I embroider beads and earn $1 million a day on this. Maybe I even travel a lot and cook and my posts about it are in the Hive top.
And what's next? Objectively, then we return to where we are now, in reality. I would like to start a family. And so I have to find a person with whom I would like to start a family. Who will it be? My current wife! Well, it's logical, I've been in love with this woman for the last 11 years. But my train left, she married that beggar guy with crooked legs. Anyway, we even don't know each other, because we've never met.
Finally, I'm fabulously rich and sad. Because all my friends already have families and children, but these are their families and children. I'm free and... alone. Which is easier, to earn money or to find love? Definitely, you will not buy a soul mate for any money.
#2
Now consider the possibility that I didn't marry you, my dear wife, but another woman (in a way, this is a continuation of scenario #1). Your hands are reaching for my testicles again. Don't be afraid guys, everything is under control, don't hide so deep in the ass, it's a manageable risk.
I’m sure that with this option there would not be any drastic changes for the better. Rather the opposite. I would hardly be more motivated than the current me. Only if my alternative wife would beat me at home. With her feet. In my face. I think in this situation, my level of happiness has decreased a little, it depends on the strength of the beatings. Everything that I'm doing now, I'm doing not because of you, but for you.
If I'm lucky enough to avoid domestic violence- Good. But I'm honest enough with myself, and understand that I can't be the perfect husband for any woman on this planet. Even more honest - for the few women on this planet, I can be at least some kind of husband. More more honest- I wouldn't fucking marry myself, it's a shitty choice.
So, if I were married to another woman, neither I nor she would be where we are now. I dare to assume that I would have encountered some dirty tricks in my family life, for example:
Most likely, if not you, my dear, then I would be lazy, poor and petty. Would walk in torn pissed underpants (for whom should I strive?), with hair sticking out of ears and nose (for which I have a wonderful trimmer, your concern). And I would work as something like a potato in a dark, damp basement, where no one would bother me.
My answer to the exam question – I would be a completely different person, maybe a better person than I'm now, but definitely not so happy.
We both cry from excess of feelings, cupids fly, "Loooooving uuuu" sounds, the screen goes dark. Well done, my friend, today you gave your balls a romantic evening instead of a disaster.
We won the battle, but this war will never end.