The start of this story begins with a girl, with whom I once had a long chat, but the twist is that I forgot her name, I also forgot when I had that chat with her, but I clearly remember what kind of conversation we had.
The topic we discussed was about lending a help to someone who is crying for support. It was a long conversation and I will not bring the things we talked about in this story. Then you might be wondering why I started this story by mentioning about her and that conversation.
The only connecting factor is HELP. So now let us check the dictionary for the meaning of this word.
help
make it easier for (someone) to do something by offering one's services or resources.
synonyms: assist, aid, lend a (helping) hand to, give assistance to, come to the aid of;
the action of helping someone to do something; assistance.
synonyms: assistance, aid, a helping hand, support, succor, advice, guidance
Now, I will take this story to another time line, few years ago when I was a student doing a management diploma, I realized there are some students whose performance are below the average grade, so during my free-time I used to offer those people my assistance. It was actually fun helping someone, there was this inner satisfaction which made me feel good because in my mind I was thinking I'm doing a good deed.
But then finals were approaching fast, I also had assignment deadlines, so much to do and the time was getting shorter with each passing moments. Since there was hardly any free time, I wasn't able to help them with their assignments and exam preparations. The first thing I noticed was a huge curse-letter written to me on our college's so called official Facebook confession page. Do you remember all of a sudden those crush and confession pages on Facebook suddenly hit the top trending spot, and thanks to the opportunity of sending anonymous message to someone corrupted many people and instead of expressing love, all of a sudden everyone took the opportunity to spread hate.
That experience really changed my view about helping someone. I think I can relate this with feeding a monkey. Feed a monkey once, it will come close to you. Feed it again and it will sit on your lap, it will then jump to your shoulder and will inside sit above your head, and once your head becomes its domain, it will sleep and poop on your head.
Helping people, especially people who are capable on their own, is just a crime. It kills talent, it kills one's ability, and it makes people lazy. I remember, back in the early days, it was so hard to complete the homework which my class teacher used to assign. And I kept wishing, only if my mom would do those homework for me, but because she didn't do my homework, and I had to do that on my own, I'm now capable of doing big assignments on my own. On the other hand, if I relied on others then today I might be depending on others to do my present assignments.
This doesn't mean I'm saying we should totally stop helping. If I see a blind man trying to cross the road, I would definitely lend a hand. But if I see a completely healthy person begging for money on the streets, I feel like giving a big slap with all my strengths, but thats not allowed, and beside I heard nowadays beggars also have their union.
Now, I will shift my story to another time-line. I met a guy by chance, and we made a good friendship, it was fun hanging around, until one day he decided to share his sad story with me. My radar always gives me signals whenever someone tries to tell me a sad story - they always have a hidden agenda. So, that guy started his story, I strongly kept wishing if I could run away, because I was about to fall for his trap. Do you know emotional blackmailing?
So, his story started with how poor their family is, how their family got broken with his father divorcing his mother. How much they are now struggling both mentally and financially. Using "family" as a weapon, its very easy to do emotional blackmailing. And then, how he wants to graduate from college and get a decent job, but how its impossible for him to pay for his tuitions, and if I could assists him financially so that he can complete his education and return me back the money which he wants to take as loan from me.
At his moment, I should mention about his hot girlfriend. She was added to my FB friend list, and she took a selfie with her iPhone which was a present given by her boyfriend.
I once had an amazing teacher. He completed his Masters from Scotland and teaching at my college was his first job. He was the best teacher I ever had. He once told me, not to offer help. I was confused, why is he giving me such advice, but I never questioned him back. Now that I'm writing this article, I feel like saluting my favorite teacher.
Personal loans, which are based on vocal commitment, and not backed by any written contract or documents, are the most disgusting things in my opinion. They have always been like free-giveaways. Once the loan is given, its never repaid. Most people are like that, with just a few exceptions. I hate this, I hate the people who does this, using friendship and trust as a business, and using their family to emotionally hit the heart into coning people, this is unacceptable. On that note, I'm looking forward to learn more about Ethereum smart-contracts and how micro-finance works in that system.
I would like to ask you about your finance. What do you do with your money or how you manage them. If you ask me, I first divide my money, use some to pay bills & groceries, keep some for weekend entertainment, invest some into the market, and save some in a bank which I consider as emergency money, the insurance system is corrupted here so buying policy is the same as lending money to con-artists.
The Conclusion
The reason what motivated me to come up with this topic is, usually I don't take any calls from unknown numbers. But today I was excepting a call from a business associated, and suddenly there was a call from an unknown number, and I picked it up. Sadly, it was not the person I was expecting but it was a call from a person asking for help. He said, his mother was hospitalized.
When its about mothers, one don't need to do any drama to emotionally motivate me, I get emotional. Its the only form of love which is unconditional. But this is a person, who have previously taken loans from me but never returned, nor shown his face to me. I'm curious, what would you do if you were me? I'm having double thoughts, what if there really is an emergency, or what if his girlfriend suddenly wants the new iPhone? You might tell me to verify, but for con-artists creating a fake sick mother is no big deal, and since I have never seen her before.
I want to help people in need, but I don't want to sponsor a holiday trip to someone, I would rather buy a motorcycle for myself, I been tired commuting to work. I would feel guilty if his story is true and I couldn't help. I would also feel frustrated if my weakness get exploited.