I'm upset that all our plans for the joint children went to hell,
Why under the tail? Can not a baby be born and a girl raised? You are such good fellows that you did not abandon her! So it is important to give a feeling and warmth to the native person. After all, the girl is your husband's sister by father, right? And, means, and your relatives. I understand how hard it is for you, to realize that a child who has come to your family by the will of such a case will remain forever, especially since you had your own plans. But, look at the situation from the other side. You are young, full of strength and energy !!!! It will be a very short time and you will necessarily give birth to the baby, and the girl will help take care of her nephew or niece :-)))
But there are times when I'm breaking - crying, angry, ...
You're a man! You have your emotions, feelings, thoughts, do not always get control over yourself, sometimes it boils up and you want to cry and cry. Of course, you need to give vent to your feelings, but do it so that your family does not suffer, because, sometimes you can hurt them with your own words.
There was a time when I was jealous of my husband ... Horror.
Did you have this feeling, did it pass? Or is it still happening? Understand, the girl lost both parents !!!!! This is scary!!! She experienced a lot of grief and now you can help her with her husband, give warmth and care, try to build relationships and not lose the thread that will grow into a strong rope! Your husband is very worried about his sister, so he tries to show her that she loves. You have fears: will you cope, what will happen next, how to educate, how to talk, etc. Constant comparison with friends is not in your favor. You are individual, and it so happened that you and your husband need to take care of a little girl, help her and be sure that you will be all right !!!!!